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Senorsheep Presents: Adventures In Online Dating

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  • #46
    So...

    I get a request for communication from a smokin' hot chick last night. I check out her profile - bright and funny, similar interests, sounds good. Right up until the last sentence - "I have been in a wheelchair for twenty years after being in a serious car accident." Bummer... I go to click the Close Match button. Then I stop and wonder "Why should being disabled make her an automatic Close?" To which I rationalize "Because I'm physically active and sexually interested and I want the same in a partner." Sounds logical, but I can't help feeling kind of douche-y about it.

    Was that a bad thing to do?
    "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
    "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
    "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

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    • #47
      If youre going to be a douche, its better to be one prior to meeting her......
      After former Broncos quarterback Brian Griese sprained his ankle and said he was tripped on the stairs of his home by his golden retriever, Bella: “The dog stood up on his hind legs and gave him a push? You might want to get rid of that dog, or put him in the circus, one of the two.”

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Hammer View Post
        If youre going to be a douche, its better to be one prior to meeting her......
        Exactly.
        Originally posted by Kevin Seitzer
        We pinch ran for Altuve specifically to screw over Mith's fantasy team.

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        • #49
          A girl I knew back in elementary and middle school recently got back in touch with me through Facebook and, to my discomfort, I'll admit, was laying out to me her frustrations as a disabled person finding a mate, as she now hits age 40. She's tried dating sites specifically for disabled people, but there wasn't enough critical mass in her geographic area. But she's had no luck on other dating sites or at standard mixers and the like. All that said, it's hard to blame anyone for not embarking on a relationship with a disabled person if the disability is going to be an issue - we can't choose a mate to serve some greater altruistic purpose. The choosing of a mate almost has to be done selfishly for it to work.

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          • #50
            Originally posted by senorsheep View Post
            So...

            I get a request for communication from a smokin' hot chick last night. I check out her profile - bright and funny, similar interests, sounds good. Right up until the last sentence - "I have been in a wheelchair for twenty years after being in a serious car accident." Bummer... I go to click the Close Match button. Then I stop and wonder "Why should being disabled make her an automatic Close?" To which I rationalize "Because I'm physically active and sexually interested and I want the same in a partner." Sounds logical, but I can't help feeling kind of douche-y about it.

            Was that a bad thing to do?
            I think it's possible that you were missing out on a very satisfying relationship. I have no idea, really, about her specifically, but I imagine that someone being a wheelchair wouldn't prevent them from being a great companion.

            However, by no means is it your job to think about whether she's getting a fair shake in the relationship world or not. That's her place or God's place, but not yours.

            I do think it would be hard to see "hey, I could really fit well with this woman and really enjoy being with her for a lifetime" when one of the few things that you know about her is that she's in a wheelchair. That's a pretty big thing, and without the context of several years to say, "she's really pretty amazing" - or not, why would you spend your time to pursue something with her? Isn't the whole concept of online dating that you use superficial things to screen people out so you can focus on people that might either be fun or likely to lead to something more? It's not perfect, and yes, it's superficial, and some of those people you don't give a second thought are probably pretty terrific human beings. But I don't think you can approach dating, online or not, as a charity project.
            "Jesus said to them, 'Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.'"

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            • #51
              Originally posted by Kevin Seitzer View Post
              Isn't the whole concept of online dating that you use superficial things to screen people out so you can focus on people that might either be fun or likely to lead to something more? It's not perfect, and yes, it's superficial, and some of those people you don't give a second thought are probably pretty terrific human beings.
              Good point. Heck, I immediately close out matches who list Country as their favorite music genre. That's probably worse than closing out the wheelchair girl.
              "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
              "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
              "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

              Comment

              • #52
                Originally posted by senorsheep View Post
                Good point. Heck, I immediately close out matches who list Country as their favorite music genre. That's probably worse than closing out the wheelchair girl.
                I dunno. They chose Country, she probably didn't choose paraplegia.

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                • #53
                  I guess I'm the only one here, but I wouldn't really mind dating a girl in a wheelchair, at least in theory. It would be nice to feel some sense of utility in your partner's life. You'd still be able to do all of the things you love to do. Plus, I'm sure someone who's been in a wheelchair for 20 years has some really interesting perspectives on a lot of things. Sex might be weird, but maybe it would be good. I mean, if you care about your partner, you'd still want to sexually satisfy them.

                  What am I missing?
                  Larry David was once being heckled, long before any success. Heckler says "I'm taking my dog over to fuck your mother, weekly." Larry responds "I hate to tell you this, but your dog isn't liking it."

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                  • #54
                    I dated a disabled girl right after college and it was a wonderful experience. I say keep an open mind and give her a chance.
                    “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”
                    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                    • #55
                      Wasn't there an episode of Saved By The Bell about this?
                      I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time--and this includes naps --I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by billbuckner View Post
                        Wasn't there an episode of Saved By The Bell about this?
                        It was a very special episode.

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                        • #57
                          Hey, remember this thread? Well... it worked! I am now very happily engaged to Nicole, another eHarmony girl I started dating shortly after Julie The Nurse flaked out.

                          Here is my fiancee with my soon-to-be-stepson Matthew:



                          Alright, heyelander, you're next!
                          "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
                          "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
                          "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

                          Comment

                          • #58
                            gratz mate!
                            I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

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                            • #59
                              Congrats on the engagement. I met the former CTO of eHarmony and he had some interesting things to say about the start of the business.

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                              • #60
                                Congrats!
                                "Looks like I picked a bad day to give up sniffing glue.
                                - Steven McCrosky (Lloyd Bridges) in Airplane

                                i have epiphanies like that all the time. for example i was watching a basketball game today and realized pom poms are like a pair of tits. there's 2 of them. they're round. they shake. women play with them. thus instead of having two, cheerleaders have four boobs.
                                - nullnor, speaking on immigration law in AZ.

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