Senorsheep Presents: Adventures In Online Dating

[senorsheep]

My biggest piece of advice is take it slow and before you go on an actual date, have several phone calls where you have so much fun talking you don't want to stop. That way you can be pretty sure your first date will be successful and you'll be less likely to have to go through the awkward breaking it off process.

Bleah, I hate phone chatter. I'm more of a written communication kind of guy. So I tend to enter into lengthy e-mail conversations, and focus on the ones who make an effort to sustain them.

That could be for several reasons, maybe some other guy just got started with her a week before so they are a week further into the process.

I just got burned by this with a match I really liked; another suitor was one step ahead of me in "The Process," and he beat me to the punch. Lesson learned: If you've got one you really like, accelerate.

[senorsheep]

Apparently most guys lose all sense of subtlety once they get online.

Heh. My Brit match noted in her profile that she "likes to take the mick." (Yeah, I had to Google it, too). So my opening e-mail was a reference to my Irish ancestry and playful little question about what "taking the mick" actually meant. I figured, eh what do I have to lose? If she's horrified, she can close me. If she thinks it's funny, she's probably my kind of girl. She answered with some choice Irish insults and some raunchy suggestions that put mine to shame.

[senorsheep]

Virgonomic says:

I was a member of eH for 3 months a couple years ago and have participated in some of their free communication weekends. You can't see pics which is a big downfall.

3 years ago I matched with a cute little blonde. It always took her several days to respond so I knew she was busy. One Thu I invited her to a hockey game the next Tue and didn't hear back in time. She told me she would have loved to have gone and asked if we could do drinks and dinner to make up for it. I said sure and 3 weeks went by. She had mentioned that she was planning a trip to St. Lucia but I closed the match anyway. Sure enough, after 3 weeks she begged me to reopen it, so I did. I told her I half-expected things to play out like this and that she could appease me by telling me what she did in those 3 weeks. She told me she was really backed up at work and had gone away for a week. Soon after we met for dinner. The restaurant had a long wait so we went to a nearby pub. She was better looking than I expected - a fit, primped blonde. I enjoyed talking to her and gave her a quick kiss goodnight. I asked her out again and she told me that she felt I was more interested in the hockey game on tv and the band that came on after we had eaten than I was in her. Good riddance. The funny thing is that I made a conscious effort to only glance at the hockey game except for the times she was in the bathroom.

I met my last 2 girlfriends offline. One, I was on a date with a girl I had met online and hit it off with a friend of a friend of hers. I was set up with my current gf through a friend because we were both on vacation in Calgary last July. We are taking a bit of a breather right now because she feels that she's too busy for a relationship. That probably deserves its own thread.

[senorsheep]

it's apparently a free contact time until the end of February.

Is that my cue to try to talk you into it again?

[heyelander]

Is that my cue to try to talk you into it again?

i was tempted just to entertain you, but I don't feel like wasting anyone's time.

[Wonderboy]

but I don't feel like wasting anyone's time.

Exactly; that's my job!

[heyelander]

bump.

I've got nothing to add, but I'm in need of a vicarious fix. I was reminiscing about when friar felt all sad and pathetic like me. Oh, the good old days.

[primetime]

This thread is useless without pics.....

[senorsheep]

Interesting timing on the bump.

I let my eHarmony account expire at the end of March. I was pretty burned out on the dating merry-go-round and needed a break. In the three months I was on there, I probably went on dates with ten women who were really quality people, but just weren't right for me. I'm a pretty solid, dependable guy, but I do have a sex&drugs&rock'n'roll dimension that needs attention, too. I seemed to keep getting matched with women who meshed with my solid, dependable side, but I just couldn't imagine them doing bongs and getting wild in the hot tub. I want it all, dammit!

A buddy suggested that I try out Plenty Of Fish (a free dating site) while I figured out my next move. Whoa. How shall I put it... Plenty Of Fish is to eHarmony as free poker is to a high stakes game - conceptually the same, but with no real money at stake, there's some really wild play out there. Word to the young single guys here - if you're just looking to bang crazy chicks, you really need to check out PoF.

Anyway, while fishing at PoF during April, I kept getting occasional e-mail notifications about eHarmony women trying to contact me - I didn't realize that they kept you alive on there as a zombie after you cancel your account. After a few weeks of these, I logged back in there to turn my e-mail notifications off, and stumbled across an interesting communique from Julie The Nurse From Louisville, a gorgeous woman who lives in my area. It was three weeks old, but I figured I'd give it a shot and see if she was still interested. We chatted via e-mail for a bit and really hit it off, and we finally got together this past Friday. Wow. It was one of those only-in-movies dream dates where everything clicked instantly. We were just gonna meet for a quick happy hour drink, and we ended up closing the place down. I'm pretty enthused to see where this one goes...

[Fresno Bob]

I'm pretty enthused to see where this one goes...

hopefully, INTO THE HOT TUB!

[virgonomic]

A buddy suggested that I try out Plenty Of Fish (a free dating site) while I figured out my next move. Whoa. How shall I put it... Plenty Of Fish is to eHarmony as free poker is to a high stakes game - conceptually the same, but with no real money at stake, there's some really wild play out there. Word to the young single guys here - if you're just looking to bang crazy chicks, you really need to check out PoF.

I love this analogy. I have found both sites to be pits of despair though. Nothing but overweight single moms and young princesses on PoF. I find it difficult to even get a response, and forget any kind of sustained communication. And most of the local candidates on eH are trolls.

Good luck with Julie!

[senorsheep]

Nothing but overweight single moms and young princesses on PoF.

Heh. My experience with PoF hasn't been all that bad, in Denver at least. I'd characterize it as: With eHarmony, I get the middle of the Bell curve of date-able women. With Plenty Of Fish, I get the whole curve. And beyond. The are definitely more wildcards out there. eHarmony women are stable and looking for relationships, generally speaking. PoF women run the gamut - I've encountered everything online from sad-and-pathetic to very date-worthy back to batsh!t crazy, and they can be looking for anything, including quick hook-ups. Which isn't necessarily bad, depending on what you're in the mood for on any particular weekend. Just don't let the marginal ones figure out how to find you outside the site!

And most of the local candidates on eH are trolls.

My experience with eHarmony has been very different - rarely do I have a date where I drive home thinking "WTF?" Good women, for the most part, but then again, I'm very picky about who I'll approach and to whom I'll respond. And then I invest considerable time getting to know them online before meeting, so I weed out a lot of the undesirables that way.

[billbuckner]

Have you contracted any venereal diseases yet?

[Fresno Bob]

Have you contracted any venereal diseases yet?

any apartment cleaners?

[GwynnInTheHall]

any apartment cleaners?

You mean pipe cleaners.........