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Originally posted by nullnor
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top ten reasons how technological civilizations accidentally wipe themselves out before communicating with other technological ones.
1) due to a man made error in geological engineering the earths molten core stops spinning. a team is sent in a special drill-like machine to the center of the earth to detonate special explosives to get it spinning again. the missions fails and earth loses it's magnetic field.
2) a special code is picked up from space. after it is deciphered it gives instructions how to combine human DNA with alien. scientists succeed and create super-gorgeous hybrid females with athletic muscular yet sexy legs, that only wear bras for tops, and go around having sex with drunken human males at bars. the male population is grateful at first, until tentacles come out of their high cheekbones and eat the earthmen after sex.
3) the actor Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge are sent to Mars to make a movie about a prisoner who escaped. upon arrival they encounter road warrior chain wielding zombies who are possessed by former martians. unfortunately not even Ice Cube's witty comebacks, Natasha Henstridge's legs or John Carpenter's soundtrack can make the movie watchable or save earth.
4) in the future a planet of humans are overrun by intelligent apes. the apes outlaw any use of technology, never being able to contact other solar systems.... waitaminute, that was our planet! YOU MANIACS, YOU BLEW IT UP!!
5) the FCC opens up some high microwave frequencies and allows them to be used for additional stations on everyone's cellphones. this unfortunately allows bose-einstien beings to invade the earth through the new frequencies. and mankind has to choose between not turning their iphones on or being consumed by ghosts.
6) humans realize they are from another planet and are in a contest called the gathering where everyone must duel with swords. the only way to win is by cutting off your opponents head and letting their energy flow into you. the last person left wins a major award.. because there can only be one!
7) the army accidentally opens a dimensional portal and a foggy mist with giant man-eating insects take over the planet. everyone hides in supermarkets but eventually the food runs out.
8) in the year 2120, a giant alien probe enters earths atmosphere and starts hovering over Stonehenge. it unintentionally disrupts all technology and weather and starts making beaver sounds. earth realizes it's trying to communicate with an ancient beaver civilization. in an attempt to communicate they send a spaceship back in time to find some in the 21st century. alas, the mission fails and we never learn why beavers built it.
9) a group of dolphins find a human spaceship that traveled back into the past at the bottom of the ocean. they break in and discover a big golden majestic sphere. when they swim inside the sphere whatever they are thinking comes true. suddenly the earth is teleported next to the planet Saturn...one of the dolphins asks the other, why did you do that? and the other dolphin says, one time i was in malibu and heard the humans say Saturn was nice this time of year.
10) during an address, president Trump overhears reporters in the back saying the only thing smaller than his audiences are his tiny hands. and just then he grimaces, suddenly everyone realizes he is omnipotent, and he thrusts his finger in the air, and a huge explosion in the solar system occurs, taking earth with it.Comment
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It all makes so much sense! Except number 6, I have no clue what all that's about...Originally posted by nullnor View Post
good stuff.I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...Comment
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Nullnor forgot #11, The Lawnmower Man"You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper
"One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus KinskiComment
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i think that would've worked pretty good on Letterman. pictorials and making faces. pictures of beavers building stonehenge. my favorite would be the cellphone one. like can i resist turning my iphone on or do i risk getting possessed. decisions..::reaches for the on button::: no.. wait, oh what the hell i have to check my email. lol
not to mention potential close ups of Natasha Henstridge's muscular legs.
so you guys know what the movies were?
1) The Core (which was actually a pretty decent movie)
2) Species
3) Ghosts of Mars (possibly the worst ever) i'd rather watch The Rock running around tripped out killing people on Mars in DOOM, which says a lot as far as video game movies go.
4) Planet of the Apes
5) Pulse and Spectral (2 movies) i recommend both
6) Highlander (i thought the 2nd movie where they said they were aliens was lame)
7) The Mist
8) Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (one of my all time favorites)
9) Sphere and The Quiet Earth (2 movies) if you get the extended DVD version of Sphere Samuel Jackson never shuts up. i think he's drunk. which is cool. The Quiet Earth is an obscure 1985 movie. i forget the whole movie, but it comes recommend.
10) we're living it right now. haha (The Twilight Zone with with Billy Mumy, also in the movie)
honorable mentions were Event Horizon where an inter-dimensional ship might change our laws of physics. Any movie where we accidentally create a blackhole and destroy earth (i couldn't think of one) , any movie where we accidentally create particles like strangelets. any movie were artificial intelligence wipes out mankind (a lot to choose from but one didn't come to mind). any movie where earth is stuck in a time loop. Pitch Black, but i couldn't work it. Aliens, i have no idea how i forgot but i would've gone with a more Prometheus angle, (could've included AI there too). any movie with a biological virus bent, possibly the movie Doomsday. not a bad movie. but it shows that there will always be immune survivors in biological disasters.
i liked the idea of another earth from an alternate universe suddenly appearing next to ours. the the two planets could duke it out. and instead of brother vs brother it would be yourself vs yourself. of course if my doppelganger was a female, i'd have sex with her instead... i'd fuck me.
on that note i played around with the idea of aliens picking up signals of hermaphrodite pornographic movies from earth, and after destroying it, they kept Ron Jeremy's live head in a jar and brought it back to their home planet to teach them cunnilingus where they went on to make billions of money in the alien porn industry. but im not really big on aliens destroying earth.Comment
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so i've hijacked the topic of this thread to..
hermaphrodites
cunnilingus
and fucking your alternate universe female self
..that feels about like a days work.Comment
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you deserve a shower!Originally posted by nullnor View Post"You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper
"One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus KinskiComment
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#5 was the only movie plot I didn't recognizeOriginally posted by nullnor View Post"You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper
"One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus KinskiComment
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SNL does it again LMAO! Just in time for Halloween: Kellywise
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert EinsteinComment
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We'll see now whether John Kelly is still a man of honor and integrity. He let himself be pushed out there to defend his boss, and went way too far, attacking a Congressman for no good reason with a story which was far from the truth.
Does he double down as the White House has already attempted to do for him?
If you haven't done so, watch her speech from 2015 which offended Kelly so deeply, in which she took credit for the $20 million funding and then sat down.If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them. - Karl PopperComment
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It's quite literally exhausting trying to keep up with the lies from Trump and his people...Not only is the 2015 speech that the Congresswoman gave totally different than Kelly's interpretation of it, as RB said. Turns out that The WH did NOT have a list of all the KIA since Trump came into office, so there was no way that he could have contacted all of the families, as he claimed that he did.Originally posted by Redbirds Fan View Post
And, in a WTF moment that'll tell you why he's in office in the 1st place. Many Houstonians who got Hurricane aid from Harvey, attacked those on Puerto Rico...
Ramirez worries that when the government makes money easily available after a natural disaster, there’s an opportunity for corruption and a chance that some people will take more than they need. And she thinks that media coverage of the crisis in Puerto Rico has lacked context, especially in reporting that nearly all of the island is still without electricity.
“Guess what? There’s a big chunk of the population that lives without electricity all the time,” Ramirez said, saying she was sharing the experiences of a friend who has family on the island.
Hogg, 76, nodded his head in agreement: “They never had it. Never had it.”
“They don’t live deprived, because it’s a beautiful environment,” she continued. “The weather is nice, the climate is good most of the time, so it’s different from here . . . It works there because of the climate. It wouldn’t work here.”
About 96 percent of Puerto Rico’s electricity customers had service before Maria made landfall, according to federal data; many of the rest had no power because of Hurricane Irma two weeks earlier.
Ramirez said the government should encourage those living in the hardest-hit areas to move to the mainland, out of the direct path of hurricanes and into communities with more-reliable infrastructure.
“I object. I object. They should stay where they are and fix their own country up,” Hogg responded softly, shaking his head, wrongly referring to the U.S. territory as a separate nation.
BTW, as of today 83% of Puerto Rico is still without power..."Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Your shitty future continues to offend me."
-Warren EllisComment
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Not really, just watch to see when his lips move...or in this case whenever he tweets. Hth. Even a dummy can do it !Originally posted by Hornsby View Post--------------------------------------
You know a girl in a hat is just so…vogue.Comment
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I cant even make any sense of his tweets anymore - they seem to be fighting ghosts that just arent there.
and dont say that Kelly is a man of integrity when he is willing to attack people just to defend his lieing bossComment
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It is great that you used to make sense of his tweets !Originally posted by swampdragon View Post--------------------------------------
You know a girl in a hat is just so…vogue.Comment
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