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Drawing the line at Graduation invitations?

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  • #1

    Drawing the line at Graduation invitations?

    I received an invite from a friend who lives out of state (about 3 hours away) to his daughter's graduation. I have been friends with him for over 35 years, but really only see him at most twice a year for the last 20 years or so. I really don't know his daughter. My questions:

    1. I realize he was being nice by sending the invite, but does getting the invite mean a monetary gift must be sent or is a card sufficient?

    2. Would you send a card with a monetary gift? and if so why?

    3. Where does one draw the line in sending out invites to a child's graduation before it can be perceived as simply a money-grab?

    Two other friends of mine in the same situation as me regarding this graduation invite were a little peeved at feeling obligated to send a monetary gift.

    Thoughts?
    "I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."
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  • #2
    I thin it all comes done to what you're comfortable with in the relationship. In this one, I would relate your friend to one of my college friends. I wouldn't expect, or anticipate him sending a monetary gift to my daughter when she graduates and I wouldn't send anything when hid graduates, either.
    "Looks like I picked a bad day to give up sniffing glue.
    - Steven McCrosky (Lloyd Bridges) in Airplane

    i have epiphanies like that all the time. for example i was watching a basketball game today and realized pom poms are like a pair of tits. there's 2 of them. they're round. they shake. women play with them. thus instead of having two, cheerleaders have four boobs.
    - nullnor, speaking on immigration law in AZ.

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    • #3
      If it was me I would take it that they didn't want to slight me by leaving me out.

      I would send a card and $25.00. I would view it as honoring my friendship with my buddy rather than an obligation to the daughter.

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      • #4
        Unless of course you know your "friend" to be a money grubbing cheap skate. Then I would just ignore the card. I most likely would not call him friend either and have no angst about my decision.

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        • #5
          He's not a money grubbing friend, he's a real good guy so I will send a card and cash.

          When my step-daughter graduated i didn't invite my friends that she didn't know because we felt it was her day, so why invite people she didn't really know.

          I guess it's just that people handle these matters differently.
          "I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."

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          • #6
            If he is a friend and you can afford a few bucks go ahead and send her something. If money is tight just send a card. I would assume he is just telling you of an important moment in his daughters life, not looking for a hand out. I don't think he expects you to show up. I get announcements from people on the east coast and I hope they don't expect me to show up because I never do.

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            • #7
              I think you are doing the right thing. He's staying friends by including you in the important stuff in his life and you are staying friends by acknowledging it and letting him know you are happy for him by playing the game and sending her a gift.
              I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Mithrandir View Post
                I received an invite from a friend who lives out of state (about 3 hours away) to his daughter's graduation. I have been friends with him for over 35 years, but really only see him at most twice a year for the last 20 years or so. I really don't know his daughter. My questions:

                1. I realize he was being nice by sending the invite, but does getting the invite mean a monetary gift must be sent or is a card sufficient?

                2. Would you send a card with a monetary gift? and if so why?

                3. Where does one draw the line in sending out invites to a child's graduation before it can be perceived as simply a money-grab?

                Two other friends of mine in the same situation as me regarding this graduation invite were a little peeved at feeling obligated to send a monetary gift.

                Thoughts?
                Why do you ask these questions and not give us all the needed info? I can't answer this until I know if your friend watches women's softball on television or not.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Steve View Post
                  Why do you ask these questions and not give us all the needed info? I can't answer this until I know if your friend watches women's softball on television or not.
                  I checked with Papa Deuce and he said that's all the info you need.
                  "I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth."

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