Buying new throne...advice? (this is what Seitzer meant to ask)

[Steve]

Buying new throne...advice?
I need a new throne for work. It needs to be on the Sewage network, and I have to be able to read and send email while on the throne. Those are the only must-have requirements.

In addition, I would like the following:
1. seat that toggles between up and down position
2. GPS/Google maps to locate other thrones
3. small enough for me to easily sit on with my pants down

My wife has the iflush4, and I'd be okay with that, but it's a little bigger than I want, and it has a lot of bells and whistles that I don't particularly care about, plus it costs an arm and a leg.

I'm not sure whether I want a bidet or an actual paper roller as I have no experience using any of those to type. So any thoughts on that from frequent throne emailers would be appreciated. I assume I'll not be writing essays on the throne, but since email is the main application for me, I want the typing to be as good as it can without making the throne too big.

Thoughts/advice? Thanks!

[Gregg]

Nicely played.

I should have opened this before I typed mine. I got nothin.

[billbuckner]

I'm not sure whether I want a bidet or an actual paper roller as I have no experience using any of those to type.

So we can gather by this that steve has never wiped or cleaned his ass hole

[Steve]

So we can gather by this that steve has never wiped or cleaned his ass hole

We do have leaves here in Oklahoma.

[billbuckner]

We do have leaves here in Oklahoma.

Leaves of three, let it be.
Leaves of four, wipe some more!