top 10 answers when someone asks what you want to be when you grow up

10) a job that's so important that i have to secretly tape my clients in order to protect myself.
9) a mexican drug lord so i can have a nickname like El Chapo.

note: these are sarcastic answers. so the person that asks is confused but impressed anyways.

i used to have 10 but i think i killed those brain cells and forgot. it was an idea i was working on. feel free to add your own.

edit: ok i thought of another one, see it's not as difficult as it looks.

8) Entomologist, so when people talk about their fear of bees, birds and spiders i can explain there is an insect in nature called a tarantula hawk wasp. they say it's sting is like a lightning bolt.

[Gregg]

10) a job that's so important that i have to secretly tape my clients in order to protect myself.
9) a mexican drug lord so i can have a nickname like El Chapo.

note: these are sarcastic answers. so the person that asks is confused but impressed anyways.

i used to have 10 but i think i killed those brain cells and forgot. it was an idea i was working on. feel free to add your own.

edit: ok i thought of another one, see it's not as difficult as it looks.

8) Entomologist, so when people talk about their fear of bees, birds and spiders i can explain there is an insect in nature called a tarantula hawk wasp. they say it's sting is like a lightning bolt.

Holy crap! i just looked up one of those. They are Huuuggge.

[Gregg]

Here is a link:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj9rKnE2r_cAhVs9YMKHcTaBNIQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fboards.na.leagueoflegends.com%2Fen%2Fc%2Fgeneral-discussion%2Fy9xEIE6H-tarantula-hawk-wasp&psig=AOvVaw2Ir4HEnPAngBymLN2ibhOg&ust=1532795540845408

[swampdragon]

7) a waste management engineer - then follow up with "dont you wonder where the poop goes?" - I have been trying to convince my engineering students that this is a fascinating career - no one has taken me up on it YET

[nullnor]

Here is a link:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&sour...32795540845408

league of legends, ah they made a character called that. i used to play that game. and then one day i formatted my computer and forgot to save my custom controls file. i needed arrow keys to work and i couldn't figure out the commands to input in the file again. so i stopped playing it. it was very painful as i liked the game.

i played the character sejuani. it's a stupid game but one that you can play really drunk. but players actually report you for playing bad when you are trying. or get mad when you pick the character to play but they want you to play something else. sejuani was the safest pick for me. plus she was a beast late game. but she was a jungler which i didn't like and they would complain. but i could play any position with that character. i miss that game.

[nullnor]

when i went to college i was tasked with writing a research paper even tho i had no idea what i was doing. so my idea was garbology. i mean there's no better statement than saying even in the simplest landfill it would match the height of the great pyramids. our seemingly tribute to God but instead of something magnificent to build over thousands of years. ironically that was the teacher that asked me what i wanted to be later.

i read some stuff lately that we've been duped on the whole recycling thing. like even long ago they say companies passed that responsibility on to us thru clever campaigns. like up here 35 years ago we used to have a commercial where a native american would cry at the end of the commercial about litter. does recycling really even do anything or make a dent?

[Fresno Bob]

I want to be a superstar when I grow up

[madducks]

I want to be a superstar when I grow up

That's a good field to get into. Right now the demand exceeds the supply.

[chancellor]

i read some stuff lately that we've been duped on the whole recycling thing. like even long ago they say companies passed that responsibility on to us thru clever campaigns. like up here 35 years ago we used to have a commercial where a native american would cry at the end of the commercial about litter. does recycling really even do anything or make a dent?

Yes to your first statement and also yes to your last. Certainly, the concept that recycling would be this nirvana solution where we’d not need much or any raw materials and all that bad logging and mining stuff would go away is bogus. Recycling itself is a pretty nasty industrial process that has a hard time attracting and keeping a good labor force.

OTOH, there’s been significant progress in plastics recycling and paper recycling. Paper products in the US and Europe have probably maxed out recycling content, plastics are pretty close. And beyond a doubt, aluminum recycling has been a major success.

[nullnor]

i think it would be cool to be a notorious art thief when i grow up. people would regard me as a mission impossible cat burglar.. naturally i'd have to keep my life of extravagance on the down low, but after i die and they're selling off my possessions, they'll start noticing things like the 200 million Picasso hanging in the living room.

i think any occupation which you would be embarrassed to admit while your a live, but instead be lionized after you die would be cool

[B-Fly]

I want to be President. Quick, someone feed me some good racist dog whistles I can blow. (Whoops...wrong forum.)

[nullnor]

I want to be an astronaut so I can drink my own recycled pee (or just pee, leave out the recycled part)

[Ken]

I want to be an astronaut so I can drink my own recycled pee (or just pee, leave out the recycled part)

Wait, what's stopping you from drinking it now?

[nullnor]

Wait, what's stopping you from drinking it now?

I am not an astronaut yet.

[Steve 2.0]

I am not an astronaut yet.

I think he means you could drink your own pee wherever you are.