i don't agree with the way the universe is built

I don't agree. not the way we all have to prey on each other to survive. the way matter has to collide with other matter to create more so-called important matter.

this is a major problem for me. I thought that I was ok. I could get past the pains of my youth and enjoy things. but as I got old I realize it's not so easy. I don't agree with the way the universe is built.

planets smashing into each other to make new planets. why. why destroy things that already exist in order to make new things.

and why do I have to goto the bathroom all the time. I know it has something to do with entropy but im really tired of the fucking toilet.

every time I have to relieve myself I feel like cursing God for making me this way.

I do not agree with the way this universe is built. it's cruel.

I know I said once that bad things only come from good things. and I still think it makes sense. otherwise there's no purpose. yet, there's obviously a purpose.

and it last forever. it's like in the movie Gladiator. what we do in this life lasts for an eternity. im not sure what that means.

it upsets me that people want to dumb such things down to some atomic meaningless, gravitational level. perhaps the world is built so cruelly it's the only way of making poor sense of it.

but even as enlightened as I feel, I don't agree with the way the universe is built.

and we are not supposed to. we are meant to question it because we have the power and intelligence to do so. we are meant to question God. we are meant to question ourselves. and as I get older I do not agree with how the universe is built.

would I be able to build it better? probably not since the universe is pretty complicated. still I curse it every time I have to goto the bathroom. it's not something normal ppl realize. but we relive ourselves every time we dump our trash and consumerism in places we forget. in the sea.

that way I say we blast out nuclear waste into space. I mean who fucking cares. this is what we are.

our biggest monument to God is our waste. piles of fucking trash. is this what He wanted?

I don't agree. with the way the universe is built.

[nullnor]

it's frustrating because I know infinity is forever. ..if I to be born again because there are only so many quantum states matter can take, am I not a slave?

and I know there is always some guy with some fucking theory that says some mathematical casual diamond says there is only...

there has to be a beginning and there has to be an end. a person cannot go on forever. there's has to be only one life. where you make the most of it.

otherwise it's just meaningless and the definition of insanity.

[nullnor]

and you say to yourself ok nullnor, what does that do to inspire me?

http://www.wsj.com/articles/scott-ne...ist-1434134269

About a decade ago, in Phnom Penh, an 86-year-old Cambodian woman grabbed then-Hollywood executive Scott Neeson’s hand to lead him over to where three young children were on a garbage heap, gravely ill with typhoid. Then his cellphone rang; at the other end was a major actor complaining that his private jet didn’t have the right amenities on board. “My life wasn’t meant to be that difficult,” said the actor.

At that moment, Mr. Neeson realized that it was time to give up his job as president of Sony Pictures for his charity work, as head of the Cambodian Children’s Fund.

sometimes I feel blessed to be born in America. and still be the loser that I am. and sometimes I feel cursed.

im like you tho, I hate fucking accidently clicking on news that traumatizes me. ppl like Scott Neeson they are the gods of this world.