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  • #16
    Originally posted by In the Corn View Post
    Taking care of parents is a labor of love. It can be very rewarding and taxing.

    As someone who does a lot with caregivers. Just a reminder to make sure you and your wife take time for yourselves. Caregiving can be very hard both physically and emotionally. Rally your troops and get family and friends involved.

    Sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law.
    My mom (87) crawls up and down the stairs to their basement so that she won't have balance issues on the stairs. Also because she has arthritis and going up and down the stairs in a normal way is hard on her knees. I don't love that she's still going down to the basement, but I've come to peace with that being how she still feels like she can navigate their house. We have moved the washer and dryer that used to be in the basement to the upstairs so that she has less reason to go down to the basement on a regular basis. My dad (90) fell and broke his hip in the basement a year ago, so he doesn't go down to the basement any more. All of it is tough to navigate between trying to keep them safe and letting them live and have some autonomy while they still can.

    I think at some point they are either moving in with my brother or me. As long as both of them are alive, I think they can keep going in their own house for a few more years. My brother lives close by so he can check in on them regularly. But in a few years I think they will need to live with someone, or if one of them dies, I think it would be tough for the other one to keep living by themselves.
    "Jesus said to them, 'Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.'"

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Kevin Seitzer View Post
      My mom (87) crawls up and down the stairs to their basement so that she won't have balance issues on the stairs. Also because she has arthritis and going up and down the stairs in a normal way is hard on her knees. I don't love that she's still going down to the basement, but I've come to peace with that being how she still feels like she can navigate their house. We have moved the washer and dryer that used to be in the basement to the upstairs so that she has less reason to go down to the basement on a regular basis. My dad (90) fell and broke his hip in the basement a year ago, so he doesn't go down to the basement any more. All of it is tough to navigate between trying to keep them safe and letting them live and have some autonomy while they still can.

      I think at some point they are either moving in with my brother or me. As long as both of them are alive, I think they can keep going in their own house for a few more years. My brother lives close by so he can check in on them regularly. But in a few years I think they will need to live with someone, or if one of them dies, I think it would be tough for the other one to keep living by themselves.
      It's good to be proactive with the washer and dryer. Also great that it seems your parents, your brother and you are having some conversations about what the future looks like. Gotta have everyone on the same page.
      "Looks like I picked a bad day to give up sniffing glue.
      - Steven McCrosky (Lloyd Bridges) in Airplane

      i have epiphanies like that all the time. for example i was watching a basketball game today and realized pom poms are like a pair of tits. there's 2 of them. they're round. they shake. women play with them. thus instead of having two, cheerleaders have four boobs.
      - nullnor, speaking on immigration law in AZ.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Kevin Seitzer View Post
        My mom (87) crawls up and down the stairs to their basement so that she won't have balance issues on the stairs. Also because she has arthritis and going up and down the stairs in a normal way is hard on her knees. I don't love that she's still going down to the basement, but I've come to peace with that being how she still feels like she can navigate their house. We have moved the washer and dryer that used to be in the basement to the upstairs so that she has less reason to go down to the basement on a regular basis. My dad (90) fell and broke his hip in the basement a year ago, so he doesn't go down to the basement any more. All of it is tough to navigate between trying to keep them safe and letting them live and have some autonomy while they still can.

        I think at some point they are either moving in with my brother or me. As long as both of them are alive, I think they can keep going in their own house for a few more years. My brother lives close by so he can check in on them regularly. But in a few years I think they will need to live with someone, or if one of them dies, I think it would be tough for the other one to keep living by themselves.
        We have a guest room upstairs. But my mom also broke her hip about 5 years ago, so going upstairs was not an option. So we're converting an unfinished room on the first floor, near the garage, that we had used for firewood and various machinery into her bedroom.

        She's moving in here in about a week, and her room is not finished yet. Contractors are here as we speak working on it. It's crunch time!

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        • #19
          We looked into Stair lifts in the event one or both of my In-Laws would need to move in with us. They are about $2K new. Used ones under $1k. Unfortunately they both passed with in 3 weeks of each other so we did not move on it.

          I hope all goes well for you in this new adventure.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Gregg View Post
            We looked into Stair lifts in the event one or both of my In-Laws would need to move in with us. They are about $2K new. Used ones under $1k. Unfortunately they both passed with in 3 weeks of each other so we did not move on it.
            I was admittedly doubtful of these - seemed like some TV commercial scam. But my aunt had one that worked just fine, and it kept her in her house for an extra 2-3 years.
            I'm just here for the baseball.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by chancellor View Post
              I was admittedly doubtful of these - seemed like some TV commercial scam. But my aunt had one that worked just fine, and it kept her in her house for an extra 2-3 years.
              While I do not sell motors to this industry (yet), it is very real and there are some top shelf manufacturers out there.

              They might also be covered by Medicare (we didn't get that far).

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Gregg View Post
                We looked into Stair lifts in the event one or both of my In-Laws would need to move in with us. They are about $2K new. Used ones under $1k. Unfortunately they both passed with in 3 weeks of each other so we did not move on it.

                I hope all goes well for you in this new adventure.
                Thank you.

                T-5 days! Her bedroom isn't even finished yet (probably 80% done). Contractors were here all day yesterday taping and tiling the floors. Coming down to the wire!

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                • #23
                  Hope all's going well...if I counted right, move in day is tomorrow. All the best!
                  I'm just here for the baseball.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by chancellor View Post
                    Hope all's going well...if I counted right, move in day is tomorrow. All the best!
                    Ha, it is!

                    So my contractor (and tenant) came up small — and her room is not completed. The movers are coming tomorrow between 8-10, and she will probably be here tomorrow evening. Which means her furniture has to go into the garage and she will have to use the upstairs guest room. I’m pretty f’ing angry with this guy.

                    Not sure what is going on with my father in law. He may be here next week as well.

                    Thanks though!

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                    • #25
                      who else is shipping Revo's mom and FIL?
                      I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

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