Originally posted by Sour Masher
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The 12 steps work. Commit to working through them with your sponsor. This is not a homework assignment. It is the steps to freedom. No excuses work the steps. If they are not willing they are not ready to get sober/clean. Even if your friend thinks he doesn't want to be sober and starts to work the steps, that would be a very good sign that he may really down deep want to quit.
His wife should quit doing drugs and drinking all together for the love of him. If she doesn't have a problem the choice should be easy (after some thought). If she says I don't have a problem and shouldn't have to quit because he has the problem. He needs the support. Would anybody refuse to quit broccoli if it meant saving a loved ones life? Nope. Easy choice. You would be surprised at how many refuse to give up something that will help save a spouse life or a child's life. If she scoffs that doesn't mean he has to fail. But he really can't be around it and expect to make it in the early goings.
Quitting the drug of choice but hanging on to one that is not the problem more often than not will eventually trip the recovering person. Eventually they go back to their drug of choice.
Working with sponsor to see what his triggers are before they happen is helpful. HALT = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Two or more of those at the same time are very dangerous to relapse.
Meetings are good. He should try to find one where people have some sobriety time and are actually grateful that they are. I would hope his sponsor could help him with that.
Just curious, why do you think he "seems like he will break soon." Can you gently ask him if your observation/concern is legitimate? Ask him if he told his sponsor. Ask him if he would like to talk to you about it? Then say I hope you don't relapse it could kill you and I would miss you very much.
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