Speaking as a sexual assault victim

[Teenwolf]

Apparently many of the posters on this board are unaware of the seriousness of sexual assault, and have some major misconceptions, so I wanted to clear some things up.

First, VERY FEW victims come forward at the time of assault. I came forward within the last couple of years and I'm 35. Get it out of your thick neanderthal skulls that a victim needs contemporaneous allegations to be credible. Trauma is hard to talk about, and most victims stay silent.

Secondly, there are VERY FEW false rape accusations. Every time one of these celebrity assault stories comes up and people express doubt, it makes me so enraged. This is why I've decided to speak up. Victims need someone to speak for them, so as to convey the life-altering trauma that comes from sexual assault.

Thirdly, if I was at a party when I was 17, and 2 guys pinned me down to a bed while muffling my screams before I managed to escape.... then years later one of my assaulters was publicly announced as a possibly important political figure.... I would have followed the same steps as Kavanaughs victim, and so would 95% of the people here. If you think you'd be able to simply "let it go", well, you're a jackass that doesn't understand sexual assault trauma.

Finally, if you want to smear sexual assault victims after reading all of this, you're an unrepentant scumbag and I hope you burn in hell. Soon.

I hope this enlightened some folks, and if you have questions, I'm willing to answer. Thanks.

[In the Corn]

So Jessie, just call the people out that your talking about here in the board. At least have a discussion with them and let them share their view point before you cast them all to burn in hell, soon.

[Teenwolf]

So Jessie, just call the people out that your talking about here in the board. At least have a discussion with them and let them share their view point before you cast them all to burn in hell, soon.

If people can relate to what I've posted, I'm glad. It's not my job to point out who is on the naughty list. Why do you want me to "name names"? I've never understood this. That only leads to flamewars.

[In the Corn]

If people can relate to what I've posted, I'm glad. It's not my job to point out who is on the naughty list. Why do you want me to "name names"? I've never understood this. That only leads to flamewars.

Jessie, when you throw a bomb out like this without attaching it to specific people, all you do is shutdown communication.

One of the primary reason I come to this site is for the exchange of viewpoints. Way back in the day on RJ, this kind of post never happened. We were more cordial. We listened. Perhaps with so much influence of social media, it's become more acceptable to be more vague and antagonistic, at the same time.

I'm sorry that someone hurt you, and I respect where you're coming from and the passion you have regarding those things important to you. I want to hear that from you, and from everyone else. I may not agree with everyone's position, but I consider myself more informed person from hearing so many perspectives.

The state of our politics has cast a pall over whats seems to be every conversation. So much tit-for-tat. Man, can't we all get a long.

I've been saying this for years...we need to listen more and be more empathetic. We've lost those skills.

[Teenwolf]

Jessie, when you throw a bomb out like this without attaching it to specific people, all you do is shutdown communication.

One of the primary reason I come to this site is for the exchange of viewpoints. Way back in the day on RJ, this kind of post never happened. We were more cordial. We listened. Perhaps with so much influence of social media, it's become more acceptable to be more vague and antagonistic, at the same time.

I'm sorry that someone hurt you, and I respect where you're coming from and the passion you have regarding those things important to you. I want to hear that from you, and from everyone else. I may not agree with everyone's position, but I consider myself more informed person from hearing so many perspectives.

The state of our politics has cast a pall over whats seems to be every conversation. So much tit-for-tat. Man, can't we all get a long.

I've been saying this for years...we need to listen more and be more empathetic. We've lost those skills.

I think there's zero accountability from certain posters for their garbage posts, and it's a damn shame that so many posters have lowered themselves to the point that they just make me say "gross".

My intention is to make people think twice about their opinions on sexual assault victims. By relaying my trauma, maybe they could understand that trash-talking a victim is disgusting and abhorrent, and they should feel ashamed. Or maybe by picturing me being sexually assaulted and staying quiet about it, I could personalize the event in a way that makes it more real. Kind of like all the idiots who talk about rape victims by saying "I have a daughter..." it shouldn't matter, but to many people it does.

It seemed to me that many posters here needed a slap in the face. I did my best.

[Bernie Brewer]

Apparently many of the posters on this board are unaware of the seriousness of sexual assault, and have some major misconceptions, so I wanted to clear some things up.

First, VERY FEW victims come forward at the time of assault. I came forward within the last couple of years and I'm 35. Get it out of your thick neanderthal skulls that a victim needs contemporaneous allegations to be credible. Trauma is hard to talk about, and most victims stay silent.

Secondly, there are VERY FEW false rape accusations. Every time one of these celebrity assault stories comes up and people express doubt, it makes me so enraged. This is why I've decided to speak up. Victims need someone to speak for them, so as to convey the life-altering trauma that comes from sexual assault.

Thirdly, if I was at a party when I was 17, and 2 guys pinned me down to a bed while muffling my screams before I managed to escape.... then years later one of my assaulters was publicly announced as a possibly important political figure.... I would have followed the same steps as Kavanaughs victim, and so would 95% of the people here. If you think you'd be able to simply "let it go", well, you're a jackass that doesn't understand sexual assault trauma.

Finally, if you want to smear sexual assault victims after reading all of this, you're an unrepentant scumbag and I hope you burn in hell. Soon.

I hope this enlightened some folks, and if you have questions, I'm willing to answer. Thanks.

I'll assume you are directing this at me and I thought I expressed my heartfelt concern for your experience. If its not directed at me, then I once again extend my apologies. TO be clear, I have never called out or shamed an abuse victim. That may be how you read the posts I've written, but is not what I intended to get across. All people who've been through trauma take their time in processing, reconciling, and coming to a place of healing. And, only then might they be able to talk about it.

I think your post above would go a lot further to your hoped cause without some of the rhetoric. But I guess I too am a Hypocritic as we all use less rhetoric.

[Teenwolf]

I'll assume you are directing this at me and I thought I expressed my heartfelt concern for your experience. If its not directed at me, then I once again extend my apologies. TO be clear, I have never called out or shamed an abuse victim. That may be how you read the posts I've written, but is not what I intended to get across. All people who've been through trauma take their time in processing, reconciling, and coming to a place of healing. And, only then might they be able to talk about it.

I think your post above would go a lot further to your hoped cause without some of the rhetoric. But I guess I too am a Hypocritic as we all use less rhetoric.

Wasn't about you. I did appreciate your earlier post. Thanks again.

I have a very low opinion of those who side with abusers in general. I feel that if people understood how common the variables in the Ford case were (not brought forward for many years, related to a therapist, etc.) are highly synced up with the vast majority of sexual assault cases, and all of these details add credibility to the story.

If people here think its suspicious to wait many years to come forward with abuse allegations, I wanted to be clear that this is extremely common for victims.

I would also hope that people who believe it's not a big deal would understand the personal toll taken on the victims, as well as the immense fear associated with coming out, especially in such a highly public fashion. All of these factors lead me to believe the victim. Nothing to gain, everything to lose. With the current political atmosphere, would anybody be shocked if Ms. Ford were to be attacked or killed? The right wing have zero answers on what she has to gain.

Remember all those book deals and reality TV shows Bill Cosby's victims got? Oh yeah, there weren't any.

[Judge Jude]

Teenwolf,
The most constructive thing I can suggest is analyzing whether posting about this Kavanaugh case, and your own trauma, is more cathartic or more stressful for you. Only you can answer that.

I say that because you went through so much that I don't want the conversations here to cause you any further distress. That said, if something positive seems to come out of it for you, well, post away. heck, if more is better, post more.

I wish you well, and I hope you can understand that my comments about Bill Clinton come because non-partisan criticism of his actions - and the vicious smear campaigns against multiple victims - back then seemed few and far between. I'm glad a lot of people finally have woken up on the issue, but it only has been two years and there still are further steps that need to be taken.

[B-Fly]

I absolutely understand why sexual assault victims might, out of fear, trauma or shame, some combination of those factors, or other factors, take a long time before they're willing and able to report on their abuse. So my question is how the law should handle that with regard to criminal prosecution, civil liability, or other contexts such as in the Kavanaugh matter where the Senate has been provided a nominee for a lifetime appointment to the US Supreme Court and is acting in their constitutional role of advise and consent. These are all very tricky questions. I think with regard to sexual abuse of minors, statutes of limitations in many jurisdictions are tolled until the child reaches adulthood, but not indefinitely. Even where, in the Cosby case, there were some 60 accusers, most of those accusations weren't prosecuted because of the statue of limitations, but at least with Cosby there was one (and in the Nasser case many) that were still recent enough to support criminal prosecution. The ultimate issue in the Kavanaugh case or in, say, some of the Catholic Church cases, is in what contexts you can or can't reach back many decades and hold an accused abuser accountable in some way or another.

[Kevin Seitzer]

Apparently many of the posters on this board are unaware of the seriousness of sexual assault, and have some major misconceptions, so I wanted to clear some things up.

First, VERY FEW victims come forward at the time of assault. I came forward within the last couple of years and I'm 35. Get it out of your thick neanderthal skulls that a victim needs contemporaneous allegations to be credible. Trauma is hard to talk about, and most victims stay silent.

Secondly, there are VERY FEW false rape accusations. Every time one of these celebrity assault stories comes up and people express doubt, it makes me so enraged. This is why I've decided to speak up. Victims need someone to speak for them, so as to convey the life-altering trauma that comes from sexual assault.

Thirdly, if I was at a party when I was 17, and 2 guys pinned me down to a bed while muffling my screams before I managed to escape.... then years later one of my assaulters was publicly announced as a possibly important political figure.... I would have followed the same steps as Kavanaughs victim, and so would 95% of the people here. If you think you'd be able to simply "let it go", well, you're a jackass that doesn't understand sexual assault trauma.

Finally, if you want to smear sexual assault victims after reading all of this, you're an unrepentant scumbag and I hope you burn in hell. Soon.

I hope this enlightened some folks, and if you have questions, I'm willing to answer. Thanks.

Thank you for sharing.

[DMT]

One of my best friends in Tucson, who I've known for almost 15 years, recently shared his abuse by a clergy member. Being abused is not something most people want to share, certainly not publicly. And the last year should have woken people up to the fact that abuse is much more widespread than official statistics would indicate. So for people to have the reflexive response of sympathy towards the accused rather than the victim is just baffling. What is in it for the victims, who've already suffered for years in silence? Having to put their families in hiding due to death threats? Reliving the trauma? It's so fucking pathetic how people rush to blame the victim in our culture.

[Teenwolf]

Bernie Sanders on Trump attacking Dr. Blasey Ford:

Everything these days is an “outrage”, but truly, Donald Trump’s remarks last night were especially horrendous.

Let me be clear. We, as a nation, and especially we here in the Senate, should be ashamed of everything Dr. Ford has gone through in the past few weeks. This is a woman who did not want to come forward, but believed it was her civic duty to provide information relevant to this nomination. She did not seek the limelight. She has received death threats. She has been separated from her children. Nazis have protested outside her house. And last week, she was forced to spend hours publicly answering questions about an experience so painful, it still haunts her thirty-five years later.

And the president’s response to all of this is to mock her. Not to express his sympathy for everything she has gone through, but instead to hold her up as a source of ridicule while thousands of his supporters laughed.

And yet many people will still ask why she didn’t come forward sooner. They ask why sexual assault survivors often don’t report. They look around at all of the brave women—and men—now sharing their stories, and instead of thanking them for their courage and working on ways to better our society, they are telling them it’s too late, their stories don’t matter, they should have told the cops.

Let me say this to all the survivors out there: I hear you. I believe you. Thank you for speaking out.

I couldn't have said it better. The Republican party are truly standing up for abusers in a grotesque fashion, and I have to believe they'll pay for it, at the cost of my faith in humanity. Millenials and independents are flocking to the Democrats, but it will only be sustained if they take bold and inspirational stands in the way Bernie is able to. Elizabeth Warren also released a powerful clip of a speech she gave on the topic.

[Sour Masher]

Bernie Sanders on Trump attacking Dr. Blasey Ford:



I couldn't have said it better. The Republican party are truly standing up for abusers in a grotesque fashion, and I have to believe they'll pay for it, at the cost of my faith in humanity. Millenials and independents are flocking to the Democrats, but it will only be sustained if they take bold and inspirational stands in the way Bernie is able to. Elizabeth Warren also released a powerful clip of a speech she gave on the topic.

I hope it does have ramifications, I really, really do. Since we are dominated by a two party system, I agree, I really hope the Democratic Party steps up to be the political entity people can commit to if they care about these things. At the same time, it is unfortunate that the Republican party has sunk to taking this approach, because it forces a lot of folks who don't think this way to go into denial and acceptance mode, because, for other reasons, they cannot bring themselves to abandon the Republican party (abortion, 2nd amendment, etc). Instead of cheering on Trump, I'd hope those people, who won't convert from conservative to progressive, would fight for the dignity and decency of their party from the inside. We are a better country if both parties are united on these things. Respecting victims should not be a political platform choice voters should have to make.

[Riff Raff]

Apparently many of the posters on this board are unaware of the seriousness of sexual assault, and have some major misconceptions, so I wanted to clear some things up.

First, VERY FEW victims come forward at the time of assault. I came forward within the last couple of years and I'm 35. Get it out of your thick neanderthal skulls that a victim needs contemporaneous allegations to be credible. Trauma is hard to talk about, and most victims stay silent.

Secondly, there are VERY FEW false rape accusations. Every time one of these celebrity assault stories comes up and people express doubt, it makes me so enraged. This is why I've decided to speak up. Victims need someone to speak for them, so as to convey the life-altering trauma that comes from sexual assault.

Thirdly, if I was at a party when I was 17, and 2 guys pinned me down to a bed while muffling my screams before I managed to escape.... then years later one of my assaulters was publicly announced as a possibly important political figure.... I would have followed the same steps as Kavanaughs victim, and so would 95% of the people here. If you think you'd be able to simply "let it go", well, you're a jackass that doesn't understand sexual assault trauma.

Finally, if you want to smear sexual assault victims after reading all of this, you're an unrepentant scumbag and I hope you burn in hell. Soon.

I hope this enlightened some folks, and if you have questions, I'm willing to answer. Thanks.

[Riff Raff]

One of my best friends in Tucson, who I've known for almost 15 years, recently shared his abuse by a clergy member. Being abused is not something most people want to share, certainly not publicly. And the last year should have woken people up to the fact that abuse is much more widespread than official statistics would indicate. So for people to have the reflexive response of sympathy towards the accused rather than the victim is just baffling. What is in it for the victims, who've already suffered for years in silence? Having to put their families in hiding due to death threats? Reliving the trauma? It's so fucking pathetic how people rush to blame the victim in our culture.