Do you have people in your life that have wronged you.....

[johnnya24]

With me it's my parents.

My dad committed suicide in the mid 1980's. I can't bring my self to forgive him.

My mom attempted suicide a few years later. She's been a mess ever since (and was before). It's hard to have compassion for someone you never heard a compassionate word from....not just me.....for anyone. I still have to interact with her every 3 weeks and I absolutely hate it.

Don't know how helpful this will be, but I once had a similar attitude to people who kill themselves with young families or dependents. In particular I recall being upset when Paul Hester the drummer of Crowded House killed himself ... he had 2 young kids, and of course I never had any real inclination that he was suicidal/chronically depressed. How could you do something like that?

Around this time I had a random experience that completely changed my attitude to depression, mental illness and suicide. I was taking some pretty strong painkillers, and something happened one evening. It was as if someone flicked a switch in my brain and turned a serious of extreme emotions up to 11. Fear, anxiety ... it was like I was experiencing raw unfiltered terror - at nothing - there was no object, no point. But I was also 100% aware that this was all fake. I knew it was a complete illusion. But I couldn't control the feelings, and I all wanted was this out of my head ... I was clawing at my head.

Here's the thing ... this seemed to go on forever, but I think it lasted only a few seconds. Reflecting on this over they years, two positions kept coming back to me -

1. I could not tolerate that in my life, no way, that was unbearable, and
2. are there people who suffer emotional breaks like that as a matter of course? I mean, is that "life" for some folk? How do you live with something like that?

I know it was only a momentary experience ... but my views changed from then. There was no compensation in life that could have made that experience bearable for more than a few seconds. Obviously I can't speak to your case, and the personal trauma and feelings of abandonment, but from that moment I stopped judging people who killed themselves. How can I really know what they were going through?

[DMT]

Man, this group has been through some shit.

Seriously!

[umjewman]

Man, this group has been through some shit.

Yeah, I was going to say something like:

“Yeah, STEVE, and you know what you did to be on my list.” Either that or “SM, do you have enough degrees? Jeez.”

But it just all seems inappropriate now.

[Sour Masher]

Yeah, I was going to say something like:

“Yeah, STEVE, and you know what you did to be on my list.” Either that or “SM, do you have enough degrees? Jeez.”

But it just all seems inappropriate now.

I am disappointed you did not mock my degrees, to which I could retort that are all pretty worthless and my mother has frequently lamented that I should have gone to law school instead, so I could make better money and take better care of her. Speaking of, if you are looking for another mother figure in your life, I can hook you two up...just forget everything I just wrote. She is great!

[chancellor]

I am disappointed you did not mock my degrees, to which I could retort that are all pretty worthless and my mother has frequently lamented that I should have gone to law school instead, so I could make better money and take better care of her. Speaking of, if you are looking for another mother figure in your life, I can hook you two up...just forget everything I just wrote. She is great!

Your sales pitch might need a bit of polishing.

[revo]

Man, this group has been through some shit.

Jeez, makes my "stories" laughable. I'll just crawl back over here, thank you.

[chancellor]

Don't know how helpful this will be, but I once had a similar attitude to people who kill themselves with young families or dependents. In particular I recall being upset when Paul Hester the drummer of Crowded House killed himself ... he had 2 young kids, and of course I never had any real inclination that he was suicidal/chronically depressed. How could you do something like that?

Definitely hear you on this - My issue was straight pain due to cluster headaches, which are amplified migraines. Had my first one of those when I was 19, and some of those are so painful you hope you'll die. Fortunately, they last only about 6-12 hours, but if someone had to live with this level of pain constantly, I'd be very sympathetic to anyone who'd take their lives under such circumstances. And, as you noted, others have mental health issues where they just don't fully comprehend their actions when they do them.

[Mithrandir]

Don't know how helpful this will be, but I once had a similar attitude to people who kill themselves with young families or dependents. In particular I recall being upset when Paul Hester the drummer of Crowded House killed himself ... he had 2 young kids, and of course I never had any real inclination that he was suicidal/chronically depressed. How could you do something like that?

Around this time I had a random experience that completely changed my attitude to depression, mental illness and suicide. I was taking some pretty strong painkillers, and something happened one evening. It was as if someone flicked a switch in my brain and turned a serious of extreme emotions up to 11. Fear, anxiety ... it was like I was experiencing raw unfiltered terror - at nothing - there was no object, no point. But I was also 100% aware that this was all fake. I knew it was a complete illusion. But I couldn't control the feelings, and I all wanted was this out of my head ... I was clawing at my head.

Here's the thing ... this seemed to go on forever, but I think it lasted only a few seconds. Reflecting on this over they years, two positions kept coming back to me -

1. I could not tolerate that in my life, no way, that was unbearable, and
2. are there people who suffer emotional breaks like that as a matter of course? I mean, is that "life" for some folk? How do you live with something like that?

I know it was only a momentary experience ... but my views changed from then. There was no compensation in life that could have made that experience bearable for more than a few seconds. Obviously I can't speak to your case, and the personal trauma and feelings of abandonment, but from that moment I stopped judging people who killed themselves. How can I really know what they were going through?

This !!!! I went through a very serious depression around 25 years ago and at one point it just hit me. I fully understood why people commit suicide. And ever since that day i have nothing but compassion and understanding for those who suffer such mental anguish that death is the best choice for them.

I always wished that a pill could be invented that one could take and experience the mental and physical pain that comes with debilitating illness for one week. Then it stops. Just so others can empathize and understand.

I know that I can come off as a bit of a goof on here sometimes , but I truly hope that everyone here has a healthy and happy life going forward....in spite of it all!!

Thank goodness for Prozac!!

[umjewman]

I am disappointed you did not mock my degrees, to which I could retort that are all pretty worthless and my mother has frequently lamented that I should have gone to law school instead, so I could make better money and take better care of her. Speaking of, if you are looking for another mother figure in your life, I can hook you two up...just forget everything I just wrote. She is great!

Your degrees are clearly worthless. How can you get all those degrees and still not understand FORENSICS? However, you made the correct decision in not going to law school.

I will say, I may have to stop making fun of my mom after reading some of these posts. She's just the overprotective Jewish mom, who still texts me in the morning during the winter to "dress warm" despite the fact that I'm 41 and have 2 kids of my own.

[Teenwolf]

Really devastating stories here. I hope everyone is healing from these painful relationships.

I grew up so similarly to GITH. Parents split when I was 7, and I lived with my mom, moving through 20 houses before the end of high school, never staying anywhere more than 2 school years. All of those years i was bullied and abused by my step dad, who never worked and left us in poverty. My mom moved moved away to BC when I was 16, and I stayed in Ontario to live with my dad until university.

I find it hard to forgive my dad. Throughout his marriage to my mom, he was angry and jealous of any other men. He would accuse her of cheating all of the time. When my mother was raped by 2 men, she feared telling my dad and kept it to herself for a couple of years. When she finally told him she was raped, he beat her up. I remember the fight where he kicked her in the ass, which my mom describes as breaking her tailbone. He's never taken the time to contemplate his wrongdoing, never apologized to my mom. I think it's loathsome. But I don't want to tell my dad about it. I don't think he has the emotional capacity to overcome those feelings.

I also haven't spoken to my sister in 2.5 years. She lives with her partner and daughter in Australia. The last visit here she had, her family was staying in my Thunder Bay house. Her husband made a really fucked up racist comment to my wife, and it blew up everything. He asked "how do you feel about this African American trend of people in music videos dancing in trees like they're fucking?".... and there's never been an appropriate apology for that, so we're at a standstill.

[Moonlight J]

My ex-wife, but I've since forgiven her.

Some professional transgressions by former colleagues I have since cut out of my network.

Nothing in comparison to the stuff some of you all have expressed. Wow

[Sour Masher]

Your degrees are clearly worthless. How can you get all those degrees and still not understand FORENSICS? However, you made the correct decision in not going to law school.

I will say, I may have to stop making fun of my mom after reading some of these posts. She's just the overprotective Jewish mom, who still texts me in the morning during the winter to "dress warm" despite the fact that I'm 41 and have 2 kids of my own.

Yes, my real aim was making folks with nice moms feel guilty and call them.

[umjewman]

Yes, my real aim was making folks with nice moms feel guilty and call them.

Yeah, that's what I figured. So transparent.

[GwynnInTheHall]

Yeah, I was going to say something like:

“Yeah, STEVE, and you know what you did to be on my list.” Either that or “SM, do you have enough degrees? Jeez.”

But it just all seems inappropriate now.

So..No more Yo Mamma jokes?

[Gregg]

....that you just can't bring yourself to forgive?

I know I should forgive them.....but I just can not.

I mean no disrespect by this question. Why do you think you should forgive them?

I did see you mentioned below that you would like to get rid of the emotional baggage I think that might be different than the feeling of should forgive?