What are the keys to human happiness?

[Ken]

Childhood abductions are down because of much greater awareness, supervision and amber alerts. Likening parents to professional athletes is a streeeeeeeeetch. But no need to derail the thread, stay bold on your non-parent perch. Say hi to Bill.

Get off his lawn!

[Judge Jude]

congratulations on successfully avoiding spending even a half-second on whether a commentary that runs counter to your preconceived narrative is worth considering. carry on, and I'll move on.

[B-Fly]

Does the book get into or suggest one big change recently is life expectancy? Like cancer, I wonder if increases in depression is a function of a stretched out lifespan--longer life stages all around and more time to focus on higher order things on Maslow's hierarchy, with a result of decreased happiness.

I still have about 30 pages to go, but so far he's spoken to increased life expectancy as something that one would think would enhance happiness but may do the opposite to the extent that access to life-extending medicine/treatment is more accessible to the wealthy than to the poor (whereas quite recently in human history, the rich were about equally exposed to maternal and infant mortality and other forms of early death as the poor, outside of starvation), further exacerbating resentment and unhappiness.

He does conclude that while the development of agriculture was a boon in the Darwinian sense of facilitating explosive population growth, the life of an average early farmer was much harder and less healthful/rewarding than the life of a hunter-gatherer.

[gcstomp]

There is zero doubt that this is a more dangerous country than in the idyllic 30s and 40s when Norman Rockwell images and Little Rascal tv show was an accurate portrayal of life in the city. Its not about abductions per se, one should be able to imagine a hundred more likely ways that a child would be in danger now as opposed to the soft smile images that float in the closed eyes of our seniors of days long ago.

Yes, in a big city like chicago your kids in those years could be like Little Rascals, you could have stick ball games in street and a clubhouse in an abandoned lot with a group of 7, 8, 9 year olds gone for hours at a time without a parent being concerned. It takes a very particular mind, namely someone who is especially blind to the world as it is, to not absolutely know it is a more dangerous world now, and abductions wouldnt be even 1% of the issue.

Happiness, the thread subject. I think that magic bit of supercomputer in your pocket right now, the smart phone, has given us much, vastly more accessible portal to all the worlds peoples, problems, info, and drama. But I think that separation that is created by less in person engagements in lieu of the supertool smartphone has diminished our appreciation for much. Our best days are ahead of us, and behind us, but we are in a transition period where despite more access to the world, we have fewer real friends, despite a house full of tech we have less time, and despite having a greater knowledge base accessible to us than ever, we for most part are less educated in specific fields, and more superficially worldly and jaded. And less happy is shallow sense, but with a deeper worldview.

[The Feral Slasher]

Get off his lawn!

Looks like B-Fly was to correct to post a thread about happiness in the "Hot Topics" forum, lol

[Mithrandir]

"It's always amusing to me when non-parents criticize this generation of parents."

It's always amusing to me when parents go the route of professional athletes: "You can't question me, because you didn't play in the pros!"

for some reason, everyone seems to realize how dopey the latter is - but never the former.

if you had some actual data showing that child abductions are vastly higher now than 40 years ago, for example, then I would have to take a look at that and we could have a dialogue.

instead, you took a different route - which is interesting, given my response.

now cue the "but you can't compare those two things because!"

it's like talking to a brick wall.

But it's true JJ. If you don't have kids you have not had the experience of having to raise them and nothing can change that. There is no argument about it, it's factual. Sure you can have opinions on how others raise or treat their kids, but until you are 100% responsible for another life, it isn't the same. Mr Wall.

[Mithrandir]

I used to think that happiness was largely genetic - that is, if one is predisposed to being unhappy they'll bitch about their roach-infested apartment about as much as they would about the dust on the grand piano that the maid missed.

I'm not sure I believe that as much anymore ... but I think there's still some truth there. I do think that there's a strong relationship tho between safety & happiness (not just security, but safe from judgement or other things that might make one feel vulnerable).

I still believe this is a large factor in individual happiness. I also believe that positive or negative life experiences can alter the brain chemistry and affect one's happiness/disposition.

[Gregg]

Maybe we need to define happiness before we can recognize what it is or how to get it.

Where should happiness be on life's goal list?

[B-Fly]

Maybe we need to define happiness before we can recognize what it is or how to get it.

Where should happiness be on life's goal list?

I see happiness as, first and foremost, one's subjective sense of well being or contentment, either in a moment or averaged across time. That subjective sense may well be driven by or reflected in biology/chemistry/electricity in the form of things like dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, but it's still ultimately a subjective sense about oneself.

As to where it should be on life's goal list, two points. There's the arguably selfish component of where one's own personal happiness should rank among, say, the welfare or happiness of others, the betterment of society, serving country or "G-d", etc. And then there's the broader question about where maximizing human happiness should rank among the goals of human societies. I think it ranks reasonably high in both cases, but was more focused on the latter societal question than I was on the individual question.

[TranaGreg]

... And then there's the broader question about where maximizing human happiness should rank among the goals of human societies. I think it ranks reasonably high in both cases, but was more focused on the latter societal question than I was on the individual question.

This seems like overstepping to me. I think that society should be structured to allow for individuals to have safety & security & pursue their interests with their basic needs met (assuming that this doesn't go against the social contract ... which is of course another thread, altho related). But whether that leads to increased happiness isn't a KPI that I think should be used to assess how good or bad a given society is doing; there are simply too many other variables at play.

[TS Garp]

Interesting topic. I highly recommend reading Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright. Also, regarding the (over)parenting angle, How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims is very worthwhile. Here's her TED talk on the same subject:

https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting?language=en

[The Feral Slasher]

Happiness, like you said in the OP, is largely chemical and the difference between expectations and reality. Look at Anthony Bourdain, guy had a life that millions would trade for in a heartbeat, and he killed himself. Social bonds certainly are not a requirement, many monks lead happy fulfilling lives, mostly in solitary meditation.

That's an interesting point. I'm not sure if there's any data on happiness of monks. I suppose they could be happier than average. I suspect that for most people who aren't monks that personal relationships/social bonds are pretty important.

[In the Corn]

I would posit one of the keys to human happiness is naivete. The more knowledge we have the more we have to grapple with mentally and spiritually. There also is a physical toll to that as well.

I would also say one's ability to live an "it is what it is" lifestyle. The realization that you should only worry about the things you can control, and that really isn't much.

I think every era, every station in life, and every literal age of life provides a different idea of what happiness is all about.

I also think happiness comes from not comparing ourselves to others. There is always going to be a "Jones" who is one-upping you.

~~~~~

And JJ, as a parent, I don't think you are completely off on what you stated. Now, get off my lawn!.

[Gregg]

Raising a child is like preparing for a fantasy baseball auction. Always a plan until the first name comes out.

[DMT]

Raising a child is like preparing for a fantasy baseball auction. Always a plan until the first name comes out.

And each one is completely different.