i am going to eat a can of beefaroni that expired in 2014

[Gregg]

Nully, I am glad there are people in your life that care enough to intervene.

Sometimes when a life pattern is broken we find that there is more freedom than we could have imagined. And looking back it is not as scary as we first projected.

I hope you will find peace and comfort with this new chapter.

[Kevin Seitzer]

Nully, you are a special person. I don't mean that only in the sense that there is no else like you, which is true and important on its own. But I also mean that you make Rotojunkie a better place with your kind nature, your lack of pretense, the offbeat way you think about things, and your willingness to talk and be interesting on practically any topic. I assume you must bring the same to others you interact with elsewhere. You are appreciated, even if, and especially if, you are going through a difficult transition right now.

[Fresno Bob]

Nully, you are a special person. I don't mean that only in the sense that there is no else like you, which is true and important on its own. But I also mean that you make Rotojunkie a better place with your kind nature, your lack of pretense, the offbeat way you think about things, and your willingness to talk and be interesting on practically any topic. I assume you must bring the same to others you interact with elsewhere. You are appreciated, even if, and especially if, you are going through a difficult transition right now.

+1 here

[nullnor]

thanks. i think i found some mojo today. i spent most of the day picking up roofing. i thought of the movie office space when the guy went into construction and they were outside like fuck'n a. actually i enjoyed carrying the new bundles of roofing more than scraping and picking up the old ones. been a while since i did this type of labor. i had been delivering stacks and stacks of reports but that only happened one day a week while the other days were boring and it was inside. i think being outside is better. i've been with these guys now a week and a half working on my house. at first the most important thing to them was whether or not i was going to help myself. so now that the reports coming back to everyone are positive the peer pressure isn't as much. it's a little weird though. like one guy drank orange juice and was like ahh that was better than sex. and i'm like telling him about a study where they discover given the option between different foods you'll innately pick the one your body needs most. and they'll look at me like what are you trying to be a fuckin intellectual. i am a little pretentious i guess. heh. i respect the skills these guy have. it's good for me to have those moments. this is what i want to do. it's going to take a year to finish appliance, residential and commercial heating and refrigeration school. after that i'll have my independence and privacy restored.

in the meantime, i'll have so much time on my hands. i think i really am going to just start hitting the books. math, organic chemistry, maybe i can learn to draw. i want to replace the floors in the house myself. i want to learn how to ice sculpt. put big giant objects of ice in front of the house and light them up. i haven't figured out how to make a giant block of ice yet. still it feels kind of boring compared to my previous life of working nights and hiding and getting stoned playing video games all the time. i stopped doing that, it's not as much fun anymore anyways. i always wanted to change and make the most of the time i have left, but i never thought it would happen like this. i don't really understand what makes the people that actually do stuff in life makes them tick.

but now that i've been awakened and rejoined the neighborhood, i found out my neighbor Pedro tried to get a permit to build a garage and his neighbor and mine signed a petition to prevent him. which doesn't make sense. while all the gringos around everyone just build shit without permits and they let them. he did build something but it's half-ass which isn't like him. my landlord actually could've prevented my neighbor from having her house built, or it's too big for the lot. and she's got one of those stupid science is real, and peace and love and coexist little signs in her yard. but preventing him from building a small garage is racism. he owns the house so he's legal. but when i talked to him about it more he shrugs and says he doesn't want to create animosity.

so now i found something that fired me up. heh. i think i'll be cautious about all of this. before everyone just left me alone. like a bear in hibernation not noticing anything. i bet i could get my landlord to get him a permit. he's got connections. which is why the board of health gave him so much time about me. i'm thinking i should at least steal that sign off her front yard. or maybe that's the old me and that's crazy-talk.

i am not quite sure how being a responsible and active member of society or the community is supposed to be fun. but i am open to having my experience about it evolve. i just have to remind myself to take small steps. there has to be some kind of natural balance that occurs, i figure. i was already kind of tapped and overly dramatic before this happened. i wish i could've done this myself. but maybe it's like the Hound in GoT, it's never too late come back.

[Fresno Bob]

oh Nully, hang in there buddy, I know I posted this before, but everytime I hear/see it, I think of you.

[Riff Raff]

not out of need. i just think expiration dates on canned goods are bullshit, most of the time.

Agreed in most cases. However, in this case this contains "meat" which can go rancid, even canned. Add to that it is soaked in "tomato" paste/sauce - tomato acid can eat away at cans which can't be good when put into your system.

If the can isn't damaged or bulging, you likely won't die. Stay close to a toilet though as it all may come out lickety split.

edit: after catching up on the remainder of the thread, good on ya nullnor! And I agree with Seitzer 100%.

[nullnor]

i am thinking of buying a $5000 or under RV and live in it while i go to hvac school. they call it dry camping. i really want to feel independent. the sticker price for school is starting to dawn on me. i can get my mother to help pay for it but we've never had a great relationship. and everyone is starting to want things from me, lol. i responded to an ad for a $3000 2003 Winnebago Rialta which is way under priced i think and it looked local on craigs list. and the dude emails me back and is in Utah and says he's in the army and his mother died and wants to sell it in the next 10 days. and says we can do ebay insurance even though it was on CL and got flagged and removed. lol. so i realized that was a scam.

i'd like to get a medium size RV since i have a class B license. but there's no where you can park it. there's no truck stops near me i can live. and if you've ever seen the movie The Hitcher with C. Thomas Howell and Rutger Hauer it doesn't strike me as a good idea. i wonder if in addition to going to hvac school 4 days a week 8am to 2pm, i could also take a couple night classes in something at a state college and live in the parking lot in my rv, and if i can also park a car there and use that for when i have to go back and forth. there's a pretty clean 1978 Dodge delta higgins for $4,500 with a 440 rebuilt motor that looks tempting. i can always drive it around from parking lot to lot to make it look like i'm not squatting.

the house is all fixed up now and everyone would be pretty pissed if i took off. i could buy the RV and have it in the driveway as a threat to show i'm not helpless. hehe. the problem is i have the resources to do everything myself right now if i run, but if i hang around and things go south i won't have enough money later. and i can't say i'm too wild about sleeping in a RV in a parking lot. camping grounds are way too expensive. i wonder if there are other places that are cheap i could pay a low monthly rate to park. like some dinky motor lodge.

still i'd like to get that 1978 dodge. put an electric generator in it and solar panels. get started on learning how to become a prepper.

the right thing to do would be to accept everyone's help and whatever conditions come with it. turn everything around for myself and make everyone proud. that would be manning up. OTOH saying thanks, but no thanks, and disappearing and essentially giving everyone the finger and doing it myself is also manning up.

i did my part, i hung around helped clean up my mess, helped fix up the house. showed everyone that i am a good person. it wasn't exactly fun watching the landlord go through my personal shit during the process like it was some hoarder video or show where some dude buys a house with old stuff in it and sorts though it. he was scared my mother would call the board of health. they live next door to each other and don't like each other. although i'm not sure how much their battles would end up going through me. he would put plates and books and stuff out of boxes and on shelves like he was trying to tell me how a home should look. i am under the magnifying glass. insufferable family life. i told the french Canadian guy it was like doing a food test with dogs, where you hold your hand and wave it close to their face while they are eating to see if they will bite you.

the problem is they live in a world that i stopped living in a long time ago but they never got the memo. and it's hard enough marching back out in the world and reinventing myself now without also having to relive the shitty relationships of the past. they mean well, it's funny, they'll be like get a couch stop sitting on the floor. get furniture and put a book here and a plate there. stop eating 2014 beefaroni out of cans. get a cell phone. for all i know that list will be endless. and it will be like quicksand. the harder they try the worse it will get. and each time they think they've succeeded they'll move the goal posts a little farther until it's never good enough. it's like we just threw most of all of my shit out, and now they want me to get furniture. i came home the other day and there was a fucking clothes dresser in the house. i have shelves for clothes.

i could save a lot of money dry living in an RV. and it would only be for a year. i wonder if i could get a compost toilet. but i'd finally be truly independent. i guess i've made some poor decisions in life. this isn't where i had planned to be at 50 years old. it's hard to choose what path to take now.

where the fuck can i park a small RV for cheap? i wonder if my state college idea is doable. i'd definitely be improving myself either way. and that's probably what counts most.

[nullnor]

did i tell you guys the day i joined the HVAC school. i called the school i had planned to go to only to find they retired and closed at the last minute. the french Canadian guy and his construction partner really were the ones that saved me. they are really cool. they were like whatever about the damage and filth, heh. as i worked with them. if it had been anyone else that wasn't able to make me feel just the right way, what little self respect i had left would've taken a hit. they are just about done painting inside. i haven't been able to see them since i was going to school and thank them. the last time i saw them i said i had people crawling up my ass from every direction. but i made a point to say i enjoyed their company and i didn't mean them. and they are pretty into the work. like they are doing it for me. having a good time. one of them was farting a lot and the other one wrote he had a stinky ass on the wall in paint. heh. one problem is they didn't fix it up world class enough to put it on the rental market. they fixed it up enough for me. and i don't exactly have the high standards. but i suppose they would be able to. i put a new toilet in myself. i bought a really cheap one. it does a have new roof and aluminum siding. i shouldn't let that i'd think they'd be hurt if i went RV influence me.

anyways, the day that other school closed, i was like oh no. and said i'd be on the phone a while. they thought i was full of bullshit about wanting to go to hvac school. and rightfully so because everything wouldn't have happened in the first place if i wasn't lazy. but then i emerged and i was like i found one and i have to go right now. and they were like 'dressed like that?' and one of them took me aside and was like dude your selling yourself. so i changed clothes and took off the ski hat and put a baseball cap and carpenter pants on and a collar sweatshirt. and then just as i was going out the door i turned around and did a little modeling pose. and the french Canadian guy smiled. and there i went.

i might not have even done all that if they weren't there that day.

[nullnor]

well i bought the RV. i guess there's a 3rd alternative, if i end up moving out it doesn't have to be on bad terms and i can stay in contact with everyone. i got a pretty trustworthy feeling from the seller on the phone before we met. still i must be kind of crazy-stupid. didn't get his full name so i couldn't make a cashiers bank check but i wanted to get it before someone else so i went cash and bought it today. he wanted to wait and clean his stuff out first. i got the title and bill of sale and he's going to drive it to my house monday. so i showed up to buy something on craigslist with $4,500 on me. at least i made sure the camper was there first. meeting him in person he does make me a little nervous. he was nervous about me too. he only lives 27 miles from me. at one point i asked if it was legal to carry a machete in the RV and he laughed and showed me a gun he had under a towel next to me. he showed me his military card. i promised him two cars i was going to junk if he wanted them. he'll check them out monday. i probably should've stayed and smoked a joint because if i made friends with the dude i could learn a lot from him. but how hard can it be learning about the vehicle and the boondocking life. he seems a little desperate for money tho, which isn't exactly a great sign. his woman just sort of hung out in another room walking around and smoking a lot of cigarettes. maybe if he picks up one of my cars i'll go back to his house and we can hang out longer and he can be my RV go to guy resource. they did seem nice. ..hmm meeting strangers and exchanging goods, putting trust in total strangers. not exactly everyone's forte. heh

[nullnor]

65 year old doctor step brother in law landlord came by today after a quick phone call, with older daughter who came here before, and his 93 year old mother who is also landlord to look at the improvements to the house. have one little corner of shit left and he says i still need to throw more stuff out. so i think it's starting to dawn on me that he's trying to thread a needle and wants me to go but can't say it. i turned to him and slightly smiled and whispered i bought a RV.

people should just fucking admit what they are trying to do. i am going to buy a sledgehammer and destroy that clothes dresser they brought and leave it on top of the debris so they see what i think about that piece of furniture they gave me.

i'll tell you one thing, humanity is fatally flawed in the sense that everyone feels the wind on their face differently. i mean, it's a good thing, but the gaps between understanding each other and the world and that wind are huge.

what amazes me is when someone is down on their luck and landlord pulls in people that are close to him for support. not knowing how the situation will end up. you end up bringing more in people and causing them to have skin in the game. when they have no intelligent idea how the situation will end up. for all they know i could freeze to death in Alaska (which is very low on the list), or i could live in an RV on some mean streets and get shot. and for what. you can't wait a fucking year for me to graduate and get a good job and learn a trade?

impatience. you guys may notice a lot of things about me, but if you've paid attention, i am a very patient person. probably to a fault. ... actually that may not be true. sometimes. impatience is one of the greatest faults i find in people.

the hardest thing in life is to work with others. it's a lot easier to be like fuck it and do your own thing if you can. at least you have a direction. and i have mine. i'll post pictures of my RV when i can. you guys will like it. it's nice.

[nullnor]

i am going to buy a sledgehammer right now. i might as well fire the first shot.

[madducks]

i am going to buy a sledgehammer right now. i might as well fire the first shot.

You should wait a week and see if you still feel the same way. I'm betting that you will feel differently by then. This will lessen the chance that you regret it later.

[nullnor]

i appreciate the advice. i always say that to myself. sleep on it is the greatest advice you can give in life. Lowes was closed. i used a really big rock instead. too bad i really wanted a reason to buy a sledgehammer, heh. i put the rock back outside after. tip of the day, when you do things like this, whether it's a big rock or stick, you don't want to leave it there.

i already bought the RV. the decision was made then. it just got confirmed after. and i needed landlords actions today for confirmation. when you bust a hoarder and they comply, you don't take their nose and rub it in. which he is unknowingly doing.

sometimes i say to myself, why am i so smart, yet find myself like this.

what i really like is the cat up the street. he's really smart. everyone knows about him now. he was watching the whole thing from the start in an attempt to see how it affected him. like the movie risky business when the kids were on the sidewalk. he would be watching from the woods, figuring out who was in charge, and come up to my landlord, out of the blue, and rub his leg. like he was putting in a good word for me.

he's sleeping next to me on the bed right now. the only thing i regret is that i promised him a great summer. barbecues of steak and fish and chicken. gardens of catnip. cats are funny, when you make promises to them, they actually kind of understand you. animals are great because there are never any misunderstandings. when you hang with an animal, there are never any metaphors or innuendos. it's all heart.

i still need a month to learn and set up my RV. there's a lot to learn. i definitely have to show you guys this thing. it's really nice. i have a laptop but never really used it, i'll have to figure out this wifi stuff. and they have computers at school.

i mean, i wanted an RV. although i'm not the kind of guy that needs backup. i'd feel pretty silly buying something for $4,500 for no reason. RV's are complicated bitches mechanically. i hope i can handle it.

..into the brave world

[nullnor]

my mother signed 300k of stock to me after she dies. and i told the guy, since she gets a lot of that from the estate of his father in-law, it's his to make up for the cheap rent i had the last 20 years. i don't want anything from my mother since she really never helped me and only wants me to be dependent on her. most mothers do this. i told him to donate it to animal shelters. but not the aspca ones, those commercials are terrible.

but the guy doesn't trust me. when i switched propane companies, he almost accused me of trying to pull a fast one on him.

it's like the show game of thrones. Daario: You have a very suspicious mind. In my experience only dishonest people think this way. trust is a very important thing...in the remake of dawn of the dead. CJ is like 'Trust is the most important element in any relationship.'.. it's so true. if you don't have trust during confusing times, everything breaks down. but if it's money, understandably he goes for the sure thing, or less headache. and i respect that too. even if i am a guy you can trust in this situation.

one thing i noticed was when i told him i bought an RV he eyes darted from right to left and back. it's my understanding that when people are being dishonest their eye's go left first. i could be wrong. still, stupidity doesn't always compensate for honesty.

[Fresno Bob]

Nully, that's a various generous offer, but your mother wants you to have that money for you to have a better life. Give him something, but put most of that 300k towards your RV life