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Thread: i am going to eat a can of beefaroni that expired in 2014

  1. #21
    Big Leaguer The Feral Slasher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Seitzer View Post
    Here's a tip: "Don't eat expired beefaroni, it tastes like metal."
    The metal taste is pretty far down the list of my concerns about eating expired beefaroni.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by The Feral Slasher View Post
    The metal taste is pretty far down the list of my concerns about eating expired beefaroni.
    But it is on the list, right?

  3. #23
    Big Leaguer nullnor's Avatar
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    i'm kind of screwed they gave us garbage containers a year or so ago for trash and recyclables, so you can only throw so much out at a time. maybe i should look into renting a uhaul and go to the dump. i know it's like 15 years worth of stuff, but the amount of crap a person accumulates. one problem is all the electronics still inside. like 5 computer monitors a couple TV's, old computer stuff. that might be expensive to dispose of.

    i still don't understand why we get so much paper advertisements in the mail. that was always one of my hangups. i was already a hoarder that missed a lot of trash days, do i really need to keep getting a stack of paper in the mail every other day. i would've removed my mailbox like Kramer did in Seinfeld if it were possible.

  4. #24
    All Star heyelander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nullnor View Post
    one problem is all the electronics still inside. like 5 computer monitors a couple TV's, old computer stuff. that might be expensive to dispose of.
    That's a dump or recycling run. Most towns have a place where you can take old electronics for disposal. I would imagine it would either be free or one flat cost (It's $12 in my town).

    Also, looks like Staples will do it for you too, for free...
    https://www.staples.com/sbd/cre/mark...cling:20170901
    I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

  5. #25
    I grabbed what I thought was a chocolate covered cookie from the pantry, took a bite and realized it's actually a solid chunk of lightly sweetened chocolate, to melt over something. Didn't want to waste it, so I ate the whole thing. And now I don't feel so good.
    people called me an idiot for burning popcorn in the microwave, but i know the real truth. - nullnor

  6. #26
    Big Leaguer nullnor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Controller Jacobs View Post
    I grabbed what I thought was a chocolate covered cookie from the pantry, took a bite and realized it's actually a solid chunk of lightly sweetened chocolate, to melt over something. Didn't want to waste it, so I ate the whole thing. And now I don't feel so good.
    was it cooking chocolate? it's like a cruel joke when you find a bar of chocolate and it's cooking kind. you keep taking bites because it doesn't make sense. and then you find chocolate morsels and think it's the same kind you can't eat, but you can.

    if it was expired, you've successfully taken the challenge. and you get extra credit if it was a food item that is supposed to be cooked but ate it anyways straight up. for example, after i took a few bites of the beefaroni and chickened out, i redeemed myself and ate a whole can of clam chowder out of the can dated 2/8/16 (actually i ate 3 of them but that was oldest).. it also tasted like metal. :/

    ps. you can also mistake expired chocolate for white chocolate. that would put you in the top winning 99%.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by nullnor View Post
    was it cooking chocolate? it's like a cruel joke when you find a bar of chocolate and it's cooking kind. you keep taking bites because it doesn't make sense. and then you find chocolate morsels and think it's the same kind you can't eat, but you can.

    if it was expired, you've successfully taken the challenge. and you get extra credit if it was a food item that is supposed to be cooked but ate it anyways straight up. for example, after i took a few bites of the beefaroni and chickened out, i redeemed myself and ate a whole can of clam chowder out of the can dated 2/8/16 (actually i ate 3 of them but that was oldest).. it also tasted like metal. :/

    ps. you can also mistake expired chocolate for white chocolate. that would put you in the top winning 99%.
    Not expired or moldy, so no points for me. I think it was technically baker's chocolate, but was not bitter.
    people called me an idiot for burning popcorn in the microwave, but i know the real truth. - nullnor

  8. #28
    Triple-A Igor's Avatar
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    Oldie but a goodie - http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/

    Steve gets into progressively weirder stuff.

  9. #29
    Big Leaguer Kevin Seitzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Igor View Post
    Oldie but a goodie - http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/

    Steve gets into progressively weirder stuff.
    OH, man. I hadn't seen that in a while, but it was well worth revisiting.
    "There was nothing for him to do under the truck, but it's tough to blame him now that he is dead." -V.Erps 3/26/2005

  10. #30
    Big Leaguer nullnor's Avatar
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    i was busted for being a hoarder. the board of health was about to remove me. it's kind of all in the family so they found out about it before the authorities came. although i've been kind of hiding for a while. the house sort of fell apart. it took a while. i kept saying i was gonna fix it. it's a complicated situation.

    the good news is everyone 'has a guy'. so even though the house should be torn down, it's getting fixed instead. i envy people that can fix things. they have a french Canadian guy that can fix everything. i don't own the house but landlord is my step brother in-law. my mother lives next door to them. so it's like everyone is on a rescue mission to save me. right now i've lost the two most import things, privacy and independence. even though i was really never had independent since i had kind of cheap rent.

    so it's like everyone i have to interact with now, the first words out of my mouth is 'i am a hoarder'. kind of like saying you're an alcoholic or some other human condition. for example, the new neighbors that moved in after the previous guy (or bank) called the building inspector, they asked what are you guys remodeling? no, 'i am a hoarder'. and we're fixing the house. ..the neighbor across the street Pedro from Peru, the one whose sister and nephew wanted to give me a washing machine that time i was outside in a while fixing my gutter, he's pretty supportive. he was the only one in the neighborhood that knew what was going on. he liked that i fed the birds a lot. yet, everyone has now seen two full dumpsters come out of my 700 sq ft house. i haven't made the news so that's good. so you should always look on the bright side and say, it could always be worse.

    i'd describe myself as very melancholy now. i won't admit i'm depressed. actually i bonded with the dumpster guy. that was pretty cool. when they came with the 2nd dumpster. i have a class B license and have taken out my share of things like wires or hit shit. and he had some major maneuvering to do. but it was mostly about talking how 'i am a hoarder'. and he is coming to rescue me. about how astonishing it is, the mount of shit people accumulate. and what a fucking problem it is to do with it all afterwards. he was Latino and really big boned sort of short with a big face. not to be cliched but he looked like the garbage guy. and suddenly at the end he started almost running to me to shake my hand. he was almost getting misty.

    i can't really decide if the amount of people involved are involuntarily putting peer pressure on me or they just want to see the freak show. and they have companions with them for network support. gossip is a sign of intelligence. that's really life is all about, gossip and peer pressure. not having any peer pressure on me was what originally caused this snowball to start rolling. but no-one knows that to do with me. heh

    i drove to a place today to dispose of old oil and bad gasoline, old paint, and old, huge rechargeable remote control car nicad batteries. cost's $152. small compared to all the electrical stuff the dumpster took. again i told the guy i was a hoarder. and that he is the hero in the world. he didn't really give a shit. and he's right. he's like one of the top levels dealing with pesticides and the very worst materials. emergency pollution disasters. hoarders like me are small potatoes to someone like him.

    on the way i passed a store that said lantern shop. i stopped there on the way back just to see what it was. it had some lanterns, but mostly just lots of new age or weird spiritual stuff. i guess. i just asked him stuff like what type of customers or people buy things there. not probing but just curious questions like that. i sort of looked intimidating. i started the day picking up roofing off the ground. i had a winter hat or toque on at first, and realized i could finally wear the cowboy hat i have that was made from tarps of trucks that traveled in the rain forest of Brazil that Woody Harrelson wore in the movie Zombieland. it fit over the winter hat and actually fashionable. they had a thing called a huntington window for $379 but it had mirrors instead of glass. that would be weird to go to look out a window and see yourself instead. when i left the store he said, 'enjoy the sunny day'. i'm not sure if that was because that's what he says to everyone, or because of my melancholy state. on the way back i thought a little Joe Walsh and the mirrored window, when you look at your reflection, what you see is only on the surface, you can try to find the meaning hidden underneath but the measure of the depth can be deceiving. i always liked that song, the confessor. and 'i am a hoarder'.

    it's like i am naked now trying to hide behind a blade of grass. perhaps i'm being too dramatic. and it was right at that moment that i started thinking about my odds of surviving all of this. i thought 50-50. i probably have better odds than that. i told my landlord that my first instinct is throw everything i have left out and get in my car and drive to Alaska. he was like 'don't do that!' lol. ..independence + privacy = self respect. but i saw that one coming. so i was ready. and when you are part of the problem, it's better to be part of the solution than runaway. and accidentally freezing to death in Alaska isn't at the top of my list of choices.

    when i got back home i started carrying bundles of roofing to the guys on top of the house. they're heavy. i got stronger as the day went on. i got more used to it. doing work like that helped clear my head. i thought about the movie The Outsiders when C. Thomas Howell told Patrick Swayze not to carry two bundles of roofing at the same time. and i thought who the fuck could carry 2 bundles. and then they told me to bring the bundles that were in the sun. i didn't know this was because they were stiff and hard to put in. but it made me think about the guy at the lantern shop when he said enjoy the sun. and i joked to myself to stay gold ponyboy.

    this is where life gets really intense. and extremely boring at the same time. it's like having all the answers to everything, and having no answers at the same time. there's two ways to look at dysfunction. as an observer you either want no part of it as it harshes the current dream you're living in, or it makes you feel better to see someone more fucked up than you are. both roles are equally appealing.

    i joked with the french Canadian guy wouldn't it be grand if i actually lived on 'hoarder street'. Bob Seager could write a song about it. .. i am not sure but how accurate would it be to say that 'we are all hoarders'. should you really judge a person by how much trash they take out of a house at once? or the amount they take out cumulatively.

    someone here once mentioned how a baseball player's performance was like that girlfriend you're just about to break up with but she suddenly does something that blows your mind. it's been like that everyday for me since this so-called intervention. it's pretty hard to explain to people how this happened. i think i've been able to do it. but then you're never really sure if anyone understands anyone. which can be an asset. so in that sense, i've never envied people that can just nod their head and shrug shit off more than now.

    and who knows, maybe i'll go on something like the Moth radio hour someday and tell my story. i got that story where i saved that mouse. i have a couple of funny lines from that one. how there are people in the world you can call about finding a baby mouse with a stuck penis. and i realized something today. the mice really made my situation look even worse. yet this whole time i didn't know they make havahart mouse traps. so i'm an idiot. yet most of people coming to my so-called rescue think one of the reasons it happened is because i am too kind. ..so i got that going for me. heh

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