Alpha Males

[Judge Jude]

I'm involved in one hyper-local Facebook discussion group where there's one bomb-throwing conservative who is so obsessed with the idea of "real men", i.e., conservatives, and then liberal men, who he collectively despises as "not real men", "pussies", "faggots", "fairies", "girls", "betas", "weak", "sensitive", "cowardly". He can't debate with any male who is left of center without resorting to language that seeks to emasculate, feminize or homosexualize the person, which is his idea of the most powerful insult imaginable. To their credit, most of the other conservatives in that group don't follow this guy's toxic lead, and to the credit of the regulars here at RotoJunkie, I have seen very little if any of that here.

I'm about as moderate as they come, but I would tell this guy to fuck himself - and also how much he surely will enjoy it. you and your group are being bullied by an asshole, and that needs to end yesterday.

ok, it's "hyper-local' so that is problematic. still, you have to address this.

[Teenwolf]

I've only seen 1 poster on this board launch into the typical "dont be a pussy", "sack up", etc... I'm sure it's just an old habit. Interesting that he's one of the few guys here who goes to the gym. I'm really glad men are getting over this kind of toxic masculinity in general.

[Gregg]

I'm surprised your gruop puts up with that garbage.

I am too.

I wonder if anyone has had a private conversation with him asking him to turn it down a notch or 3?

[TS Garp]

I'm involved in one hyper-local Facebook discussion group where there's one bomb-throwing conservative who is so obsessed with the idea of "real men", i.e., conservatives, and then liberal men, who he collectively despises as "not real men", "pussies", "faggots", "fairies", "girls", "betas", "weak", "sensitive", "cowardly". He can't debate with any male who is left of center without resorting to language that seeks to emasculate, feminize or homosexualize the person, which is his idea of the most powerful insult imaginable. To their credit, most of the other conservatives in that group don't follow this guy's toxic lead, and to the credit of the regulars here at RotoJunkie, I have seen very little if any of that here.

I'd venture to guess there's some self-loathing mixed in with this a-hole's hatred and ignorance.

[Kevin Seitzer]

Interesting topic.

I am definitely not an alpha male. I was small and quiet as a kid and a lot of my socialization comes from that. I am more stubborn than I am assertive. But I have also learned to function more assertively as I have gotten older and have realized that people depend on me to lead and make decisions (children, employees, etc.) and that if I don't do it, the group suffers.

There is also an element as you get older that people will follow you because of what you have accomplished and what you have learned. I find people turning to me in meetings to see what I am going to say to resolve the debate, and when I throw out ideas, people tend to take them as gospel and run with them. So I am learning to act more like a leader because I am one. I don't know if that makes me more of an "alpha male", but I have definitely been growing as a leader as I have seen that I can do it.

I think part of good leadership that may not be reflected in the stereotypical alpha male role is the value of listening to the input of others and trusting their abilities to carry out what you ask them to do.

[B-Fly]

I am too.

I wonder if anyone has had a private conversation with him asking him to turn it down a notch or 3?

Yes, and I think he realized he was on the verge of expulsion, because he does appear to have turned it down a few notches, and he also launched a campaign within the Facebook group to raise money to provide holiday gifts for needy families in the community.

[Gregg]

Yes, and I think he realized he was on the verge of expulsion, because he does appear to have turned it down a few notches, and he also launched a campaign within the Facebook group to raise money to provide holiday gifts for needy families in the community.

This is good to read.

[hacko]

Interesting topic.

I am definitely not an alpha male. I was small and quiet as a kid and a lot of my socialization comes from that. I am more stubborn than I am assertive. But I have also learned to function more assertively as I have gotten older and have realized that people depend on me to lead and make decisions (children, employees, etc.) and that if I don't do it, the group suffers.

There is also an element as you get older that people will follow you because of what you have accomplished and what you have learned. I find people turning to me in meetings to see what I am going to say to resolve the debate, and when I throw out ideas, people tend to take them as gospel and run with them. So I am learning to act more like a leader because I am one. I don't know if that makes me more of an "alpha male", but I have definitely been growing as a leader as I have seen that I can do it.

I think part of good leadership that may not be reflected in the stereotypical alpha male role is the value of listening to the input of others and trusting their abilities to carry out what you ask them to do.

Everyone probably is an Alpha male at some time. Excluding being a parent. As we get older we become the Alpha male because of knowledge versus physical . The key is what kind of Alpha are you good or Bad. I have been an Alpha Several times - Basketball coach, shop floor Supervisor - manager. I think I did a good job in all of them but men in the same position have not . The Question is why.
In my case I brought in ideas, efforts... Of the group then made sure to give THEM credit for success and not throw anyone under the bus for setbacks.

[DMT]

Yes, and I think he realized he was on the verge of expulsion, because he does appear to have turned it down a few notches, and he also launched a campaign within the Facebook group to raise money to provide holiday gifts for needy families in the community.

Wow, that's quite the turnaround, helping out all those betas.

[In the Corn]

Interesting dynamic this Thanksgiving, and some outside perspective.

We were at my folks house on Saturday. Both of my stepsons where there (one on vacation from Boston, the oldest). My daughter brought her boyfriend who is relatively new to the family, and this was his first opportunity to meet the oldest son. My daughter shared with me on Sunday that her boyfriend asked how I put up with my oldest son trying to dominate me. I was confused, as I never see that. I guess it is an attempt by him to assert as the Alpha. I just ignore it. It like the little yippie dog always jumping around the big dog. While, I don't "exert" an Alpha (hard ass) persona, I think guys know who the Alpha is in most settings.

[baldgriff]

Interesting dynamic this Thanksgiving, and some outside perspective.

We were at my folks house on Saturday. Both of my stepsons where there (one on vacation from Boston, the oldest). My daughter brought her boyfriend who is relatively new to the family, and this was his first opportunity to meet the oldest son. My daughter shared with me on Sunday that her boyfriend asked how I put up with my oldest son trying to dominate me. I was confused, as I never see that. I guess it is an attempt by him to assert as the Alpha. I just ignore it. It like the little yippie dog always jumping around the big dog. While, I don't "exert" an Alpha (hard ass) persona, I think guys know who the Alpha is in most settings.

That is a really intuitive thing for her boyfriend to observe! Pretty impressed.