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What to do about racism in the real world?

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  • What to do about racism in the real world?

    I had an encounter with a racist, and I wanted to share.

    I was at the tire shop a couple weeks ago, picking up my car at 11 pm, end of shift. Nobody else around, just this guy and me. As I open my wallet and start looking through it, he asks me before I've even pulled out a card "is that a status card?" (*SIDENOTE: Canada identifies Native people and gives them Native status cards so they don't need to pay sales taxes... a token gesture to broken treaties, but that's one thing a status card does.) I hand him my debit card and respond, awkwardly and regretably, "I have a really dark tan right now, but I'm not Native." He responds by holding his hands up in the "don't shoot" gesture, and says "I wasn't going to say anything" (even though he already did by asking about the status card, but I digress...). I say something dumb, akin to 90's Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong with that... I mean, it's all good, being a Native or not... so that's good that you didn't say anything because you should avoid making jokes about race in general."

    I don't know what about my last statement made him think he could confide in me, but here's what he said:

    "The truth is, I am a racist. I just know that you have to be careful about what you say around certain people."

    He launches into a story about harassment that he finds funny.

    "I used to work at Fat Guys, and I have this little joke that I like to tell any Native customer that I have. When they go to show me their status card, I take whatever day of the week it is, and I say 'sorry, we don't accept status cards on wednesdays, you're out of luck.' Most of the time, they have a laugh, y'know... but this one time... this one time these folks didn't appreciate the joke, and they flipped right out. Just lost it on me, shouting and swearing..."

    I reply, again clumsily and half-heartedly, "well... you can see how a Native person would be upset by being told that their card isn't eligible for a benefit they're entitled to, right?"

    He doesn't really respond, just shaking his head at the memory of being called out for his racist "joke".

    So now I'm thinking... this guy seems like he's still pulling this harassment thing, because he asked me about the status card as soon as I opened my wallet. He was eager to play the prank. So how does this get resolved, this shitstain 120 lb soaking wet, 5'5 of his imagined superior race? Some might think that this joke is a minor offense, asking every Native person to jump through his hoops, forcing them to co-operate in his joke, otherwise they're in the wrong to be upset... I feel it's telling Native people they don't deserve their status card benefits, and they should be ashamed to be using their status card. But maybe I'm reading into it because of his prior declaration of being racist, who knows. I still feel it's harassment based on race, and well worth firing.

    I have the number for the Ontario Better Business Bureau that I've been hesitant to call. I guess the longer I wait to call, the more I support white supremacy. I went into Fat Guys Auto Parts the other day, and the setup was a giant semi-circle desk with 5-6 staff side-by-side... how many of those racist jokes were told by this prick while standing alongside multiple big beefy mechanic dudes? How many times do you suppose this guy's co-workers have told him to STFU? Honestly... it's insane to me that this is considered normal in this racist little town. I wanted to explain to him how much it hurts to hear this... how I wonder about how my wife, a half-black woman, would have been treated by him... if he would have shared the racist joke with her, or if she's one of the ones you "need to be careful what you say around"...

    It's just depressing to be told so directly, "I am a racist, here is how I f*ck with minorities." Depressing because I'm now forced to take action and engage in the muck of humanity... but moreso depressing to know we have at least 5 more years to tough it out here.

    Interested to hear others' thoughts on this. My conclusion: I don't believe any type of mediation can cure this guy of his biases... so if he needs to be fired and find a less public-facing role, so be it. The owner of the tire shop should know at the very least... but I feel more like taking it to a higher authority first. The owner has a vested interest to not have this become public knowledge. I just want appropriate repercussions, which I feel more confident will be achieved through government agency involvement than a hands-holding sitdown with the little weasel and his boss. I'm open on these points though.
    Last edited by Teenwolf; 08-11-2018, 08:24 AM. Reason: added detail
    Larry David was once being heckled, long before any success. Heckler says "I'm taking my dog over to fuck your mother, weekly." Larry responds "I hate to tell you this, but your dog isn't liking it."

  • #2
    did you call him out on his bullshit right then and there, because that is what I try to do to combat racism when I see it
    "You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper

    "One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus Kinski

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Fresno Bob View Post
      did you call him out on his bullshit right then and there, because that is what I try to do to combat racism when I see it
      As I mention, my immediate responses were pretty bad. My pushback at every point in the conversation was weak.

      I should have stopped him immediately when he said "the truth is, I am racist," but I didn't have the instinct to stop him right there, and I dont know what stopped me from speaking up. I failed in the moment.

      But now it's now, and I need to decide to pursue it or not. I think I will, as i believe it's important to stop his future harassment, and i also believe that only a white person could stop this from happening, so it probably has to be me.
      Larry David was once being heckled, long before any success. Heckler says "I'm taking my dog over to fuck your mother, weekly." Larry responds "I hate to tell you this, but your dog isn't liking it."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
        As I mention, my immediate responses were pretty bad. My pushback at every point in the conversation was weak.

        I should have stopped him immediately when he said "the truth is, I am racist," but I didn't have the instinct to stop him right there, and I dont know what stopped me from speaking up. I failed in the moment.

        But now it's now, and I need to decide to pursue it or not. I think I will, as i believe it's important to stop his future harassment, and i also believe that only a white person could stop this from happening, so it probably has to be me.
        It brings up an interesting question, what is the most productive dialog with an admitted racist.
        ---------------------------------------------
        Champagne for breakfast and a Sherman in my hand !
        ---------------------------------------------
        The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
        George Orwell, 1984

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
          As I mention, my immediate responses were pretty bad. My pushback at every point in the conversation was weak.

          I should have stopped him immediately when he said "the truth is, I am racist," but I didn't have the instinct to stop him right there, and I dont know what stopped me from speaking up. I failed in the moment.

          But now it's now, and I need to decide to pursue it or not. I think I will, as i believe it's important to stop his future harassment, and i also believe that only a white person could stop this from happening, so it probably has to be me.
          I think that at this point, the ship has passed so to speak. What I suggest is to talk with your wallet, don't patronize that business again, and let them know the reason why. Let the owners know what happened, and that you were offended. You8 don't have to point fingers at the specific employee if you don't with to, they can figure it out from the invoice if they care to do so. And also call the BBB and let them know what happened, if they ding the company, that might get more done than you ranting and raving...
          "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
          - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

          "Your shitty future continues to offend me."
          -Warren Ellis

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          • #6
            The worms are above ground now. Its possible boss would have zero issue with actions of employee, and if word got out that it was an openly racist establishment, with the thin veneer code words of alt right, or trumpist, biz would epically pick up with long lines of happy out of the dark tikki torch supporting good people from that side.

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            • #7
              In my town, racist behavior, particularly from management/staff at local establishments, quickly gets called out and goes viral on one or more of the local social media platforms. Sometimes I feel like that works well and sometimes I feel like it sparks backlash and/or fosters deeper divisions, but it generally gets aired.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
                So how does this get resolved, this shitstain 120 lb soaking wet, 5'5 of his imagined superior race?
                What does this have to do with anything? If he was bigger it would be okay to have a shitty attitude? Because he is smaller he should feel inferior?
                I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by heyelander View Post
                  What does this have to do with anything? If he was bigger it would be okay to have a shitty attitude? Because he is smaller he should feel inferior?
                  Hmm, should I feel sorry for talking smack about the admitted racist... perhaps. But I'm doing it from the privacy of a message board, which he will never see or hear about. What if this story went viral, as B-Fly says it would in his city? Do you think the public comments/Facebook comments would be as reserved in their critique as I was? Doubtful. This creep deserves to feel ashamed in some way or another. If hes proud of his racist actions, what am I left to shame this POS with?

                  He deserves some real hellish personal torment, karma-wise, in my opinion. Is that not the only possible way to spark a change?
                  Larry David was once being heckled, long before any success. Heckler says "I'm taking my dog over to fuck your mother, weekly." Larry responds "I hate to tell you this, but your dog isn't liking it."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Teenwolf View Post
                    Hmm, should I feel sorry for talking smack about the admitted racist... perhaps. But I'm doing it from the privacy of a message board, which he will never see or hear about. What if this story went viral, as B-Fly says it would in his city? Do you think the public comments/Facebook comments would be as reserved in their critique as I was? Doubtful. This creep deserves to feel ashamed in some way or another. If hes proud of his racist actions, what am I left to shame this POS with?

                    He deserves some real hellish personal torment, karma-wise, in my opinion. Is that not the only possible way to spark a change?
                    So short and underweight are things to be ashamed of?
                    I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by heyelander View Post
                      So short and underweight are things to be ashamed of?
                      have you lost weight?
                      "You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper

                      "One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus Kinski

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Fresno Bob View Post
                        have you lost weight?
                        not even a little
                        I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by heyelander View Post
                          not even a little
                          Then you have nothing to be ashamed of.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by B-Fly View Post
                            Then you have nothing to be ashamed of.
                            I just really like the "If I can't make fun of their weight or their looks, how else can I make them ashamed to be racist" argument.
                            I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by heyelander View Post
                              I just really like the "If I can't make fun of their weight or their looks, how else can I make them ashamed to be racist" argument.
                              Okay, but I think Teenwolf's thread doesn't need to be further derailed over this. Point made, but the question is what we think is the appropriate thing for a white person to do when someone (whether in the course of a business transaction or otherwise) thinks you're a safe audience with whom to express their racism. It's certainly something I've encountered many times and I will admit it has generally been hard for me to muster the courage to confront that in real time. I'm more likely to report it after the fact, and there are other times when I've just stored it away and made a mental note regarding the person/place of business.

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