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at the supermarket Thursday night i thought it was odd this woman i was checking out (she didn't see me checking her out), i think she wanted me to pick her up. i could be wrong but i wondered, what kind of check list would she have for someone like me.
it's 20 mins before they close and we are the only 2 people in the fruit and veggie section. and i am checking out a small container with mixed stuff like grapes and cantaloupe and i turn around and she's right behind me. which she would've already walked that way. i just put my head down and left, i was feeling sort of depressed.
1) what you are wearing. i had my tufts wildlife clinic shirt on with an owl on the back. it's beige so it looks like a work shirt, like a tree worker. work boots, jeans, baseball cap (women don't really like baseball caps). most importantly this signified i probably had a job. check. once women start getting older and they think time is running out, blue collar or white collar it doesn't really matter. ..i don't think i would ever want to do tree work. pretty dangerous job. how more inexperienced college kids working for the summer don't get accidentally sucked into wood chippers i have no idea... so while you don't want to look too under-dressed and sloppy, if you look too good, it could mean someone is dressing you. for example, a wife, a gay partner, or your mother.
2) they also have to determine if you are single. what you use to shop with is a good indicator. you don't want to use a basket and overload it because it's too small and you look like someone without self-control that can't plan ahead. you don't want a full sized cart because, while women like men that like having lots of stuff, it just means more shit for them to throw out on you later when your not looking. and it probably means your not single. so a medium sized shopping cart is optimal. also, obviously they'll look for a wedding ring. or a tan line where a ring should or used to be. which could be the reason she sneaked up and cat-woman me. you can also make it easier for them to tell by holding your fruit cup in the air as your wishing there was more cantaloupe and less watermelon and pineapple... and then if you put it back because you are debating over something that costs $2.99, that's sort of a deal breaker.
3) you may never have noticed this but your more likely to get cat-woman'd in the health food section as opposed to the frozen tv dinner section. while this may be a better indicator of bachelorhood, many women these days are into healthy positive stuff. for example, i don't read those wedding magazines, and you wonder how so many of them stay in business. everybody can't be getting married at once. so who is buying them? women that aren't getting married! but why would you buy a wedding magazine if you aren't getting married? because they probably talk about lifestyles.
years ago all of my friends hooked up at the last minute. 2 of them met their future wives at a party with bowls of condoms in the bathroom. not exactly the type of story to tell the grandkid's. but take wonder woman for example, she met her husband at a health food yoga party. it also helps he's a billionaire.
so it's simple, women are looking for single guy's, with a steady job, preferably one where a body limb wasn't accidentally caught in a wood chipper, wearing baggy clothes their mother didn't dress them in, who enjoy healthy food, yoga and positiveness, who happen to be billionaire real estate developers.
it's 20 mins before they close and we are the only 2 people in the fruit and veggie section. and i am checking out a small container with mixed stuff like grapes and cantaloupe and i turn around and she's right behind me. which she would've already walked that way. i just put my head down and left, i was feeling sort of depressed.
1) what you are wearing. i had my tufts wildlife clinic shirt on with an owl on the back. it's beige so it looks like a work shirt, like a tree worker. work boots, jeans, baseball cap (women don't really like baseball caps). most importantly this signified i probably had a job. check. once women start getting older and they think time is running out, blue collar or white collar it doesn't really matter. ..i don't think i would ever want to do tree work. pretty dangerous job. how more inexperienced college kids working for the summer don't get accidentally sucked into wood chippers i have no idea... so while you don't want to look too under-dressed and sloppy, if you look too good, it could mean someone is dressing you. for example, a wife, a gay partner, or your mother.
2) they also have to determine if you are single. what you use to shop with is a good indicator. you don't want to use a basket and overload it because it's too small and you look like someone without self-control that can't plan ahead. you don't want a full sized cart because, while women like men that like having lots of stuff, it just means more shit for them to throw out on you later when your not looking. and it probably means your not single. so a medium sized shopping cart is optimal. also, obviously they'll look for a wedding ring. or a tan line where a ring should or used to be. which could be the reason she sneaked up and cat-woman me. you can also make it easier for them to tell by holding your fruit cup in the air as your wishing there was more cantaloupe and less watermelon and pineapple... and then if you put it back because you are debating over something that costs $2.99, that's sort of a deal breaker.
3) you may never have noticed this but your more likely to get cat-woman'd in the health food section as opposed to the frozen tv dinner section. while this may be a better indicator of bachelorhood, many women these days are into healthy positive stuff. for example, i don't read those wedding magazines, and you wonder how so many of them stay in business. everybody can't be getting married at once. so who is buying them? women that aren't getting married! but why would you buy a wedding magazine if you aren't getting married? because they probably talk about lifestyles.
years ago all of my friends hooked up at the last minute. 2 of them met their future wives at a party with bowls of condoms in the bathroom. not exactly the type of story to tell the grandkid's. but take wonder woman for example, she met her husband at a health food yoga party. it also helps he's a billionaire.
so it's simple, women are looking for single guy's, with a steady job, preferably one where a body limb wasn't accidentally caught in a wood chipper, wearing baggy clothes their mother didn't dress them in, who enjoy healthy food, yoga and positiveness, who happen to be billionaire real estate developers.
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