Cash as a wedding gift...?

[amcg]

I'm getting married in mid-September.

We've been living together for a few years already and, as such, we already have everything that we really "need".

We have a tiny little house (rented) that is already full to the brim with us, our cat, and the various things that make up our life together.

We don't need stuff like new toasters, fondue sets, irons, fine china...

What we do need is cash to pay for a honeymoon, if we are to have one. Hell, it could be cash to go towards a deposit on a house of our own some day or even just to go towards replacing our crappy car.

Among people of our generation (20s - 30s) cash is the normal gift at weddings. However, among the older generations here it is not the done thing and this has been very gently filtered back to us. They would prefer to buy us something tangible, preferably something that could be physically given to us or at worst an item from a designated wedding list.

We haven't got a wedding list for the reasons outlined above - it would just be a waste! But we still want to be respectful to our older family friends and relations. And I don't want to be in a position where anyone is made uncomfortable.

How does one say "If you're going to give us a present can you just make it old fashioned folding money?" without coming across as being, well, a bit mercenary about it?

[johnnya24]

Put this on the back of your invitation cards

[amcg]

Class

[Erik]

EBay.

[Fresno Bob]

You cant, that's why you register at macys or some other large department store, then return all the crap you dont want, pick a china pattern or such that give people a chance to spends some money on you if they want

[DMT]

You cant, that's why you register at macys or some other large department store, then return all the crap you dont want, pick a china pattern or such that give people a chance to spends some money on you if they want

This.

We faced a somewhat similar situation in that we moved across country a couple weeks after our wedding. The only gift we kept was a turntable.

[Mithrandir]

I fail to comprehend why people feel the need to buy a gift instead of giving cash when there is no registry for the wedding.

Take the damn hint you clowns! and give us what we need.....CASH!

[amcg]

You cant, that's why you register at macys or some other large department store, then return all the crap you dont want, pick a china pattern or such that give people a chance to spends some money on you if they want

It's exchange only in our part of the world; can't get refunds on wedding list stuff...

[revo]

Be like Michael Kay and register at your bank.

[Lucky]

Tough situation, but one of the lessons my father taught me was to be a cheerful giver and a gracious recipient, and to never turn down anything which was offered with kindness and/or love.

It sounds from what you've said that the older generation has gotten your message, but wants to go a different way. Be gracious. But if there is a brother-in-law who can help spread the word to those who don't yet know, by all means. But it shouldn't come from you.

When I was growing up it was considered crass to give cash, but times have changed. When I have a gift giving occasion for a young(er) person, I generally give cash or a easily used gift card. If it is a young person I know very well, and am absolutely sure they would like to have a certain item, I'll do that, but otherwise cash is the best option...not because it is easy, but because it always fits and it's always the right color.

[Mithrandir]

Why was/is it considered crass to give cash? Does it imply a lack of thought, something else?

[johnnya24]

Why was/is it considered crass to give cash? Does it imply a lack of thought, something else?

Crass no, well I've never seen it that way ... maybe it has something to do with cost ... sometimes you can give a nice gift that doesn't cost an arm and a leg ... but you might feel cheap giving the same cash value as a gift.

[Lucky]

Why was/is it considered crass to give cash? Does it imply a lack of thought, something else?

Well, I said when I was growing up, which would have been the 60s. I don't know for sure why it wasn't considered appropriate, but I would guess it was seen as an indication the giver didn't want to take the time or energy to pick out a gift. Or, just as likely, it would have been because it demonstrated absolutely what the giver had paid. Nowadays people talk about money much more openly. When I was a kid, nobody would consider talking about what they earned, in public or in private.

[onejayhawk]

I never liked cash as a gift. It is never there later to stir memories.

Everyone needs linens at some point: bathroom towels, bed sheets, blankets. I married a woman with her own house. That was the way we went.

Another option is a large ticket item. You could ask for contributions. The older generation understands saving for a car or a house down payment.

J

[heyelander]

I fail to comprehend why people feel the need to buy a gift instead of giving cash when there is no registry for the wedding.

Take the damn hint you clowns! and give us what we need.....CASH!

why do people feel the need to give a gift at all then? Maybe they should just show up and celebrate with you without the need to think they owe you something? Or Maybe you just don't invite anyone if you need cash and can't afford to pay for a reception or what not?

It's all part of the game. You do what Fresno said.