Youth baseball question

[Jefe]

This might get kinda long but I'd love some unbiased advice.

My son is 10 yrs old and plays kid pitch baseball. 4th season, now. He's played every year since t-ball. He has the disadvantage of an early March birthday which means he's always had to go up a level before he was ready, so in his first season he's always the worst player on the team. By the second season he's closer to the middle of the pack. Good kid, loves the game, has a great attitude about putting in extra time to get better, but can get pretty lazy during practice with the whole team. He lacks confidence and isn't real outspoken, so he's not the kind of hustling kid that's easy for a coach to love.

So our league is always split into American League and National League teams. The Nat'l teams are more competitive, the Amer teams more recreational. He's no stud athlete, so Amer league has always been a good fit.

At the start of the season, things changed a bit. Our head coach from last season, who was going to protect him as a "keeper" before the draft, bailed to take his kid to a Nat'l team and wouldn't even return my calls. (I was an asst. coach.)

So this other coach I'd met socially approached me about joining his team. He's trying to start up an organization that he wants to become his full-time job one day. He has 2 9-yr-old teams and 1 10-yr-old right now. They practice together mostly, amazing well-organized practices with tons of good coaches and great drills. He's a fantastic coach, was an MLB draft pick, and the kids adore him — he gets them fired up and talks about the love of the game a lot. So it's like he's building a select organization, but without the tryouts and focus on winning at all costs. Sounds great, right?

I was hesitant to get in at first because in our league, he put his teams in the Nat'l league. (His teams also play weekend tournaments against really tough opponents.) But I'd hoped my boy would step up and work hard to keep up. Well, he's learned a lot, certainly, but he's falling further and further behind the kids who are advancing more quickly. His confidence is shot, he has a beautiful swing but can't make contact because he's scared of the ball, and he makes mental errors on defense. He throws strikes more than any kid on the team but he throws them too soft so he gets pounded. He's gone from being a 1B to a RF and he's not having fun.

So the regular season is ending soon and we have a summer full of tournaments lined up. The coach approached me about creating a 2nd 10-yr-old team -- a "B" team for the kids who need more fundamental work. Then he'd keep them out of the harder tournaments.

Part of me wants to bail on summer ball, give my son a break, play football in the fall and just go back to the Amer league in the spring. Pros: the break might invigorate him, he'd be more competitive in Amer league. Cons: Quality of coaching is a total crap shoot, and often sucks, 1/3 of the kids on an Amer league team don't give a ****, and he'd feel like a failure for going back to Amer league.

Without sudden improvement, if we stay in the organization he's going to be bumped to the B team, which kill his confidence even more. And mean a whole lot of practicing in the summer heat without the excitement of games.

I am at a loss here.

[Steve]

What does the kid want to do?

[Jefe]

What does the kid want to do?

He says he wants to stay on his current team. So we say, then you've got to stop being lazy at practice, and focus, and work hard. And he says he will. Then he doesn't. Repeat. Repeat.

Part of me wants to protect him from being hurt when he's bumped down to the B team. Part of me knows there's a life lesson in there. But the truth is, if he's bumped, it will be because of a combo of his actions and his lack of athletic ability. He got the latter from me, so that sucks.

[baldgriff]

Talk to your son - these sports are supposed to be about him. If he wants to play B - great. If he wants time off - great too.... there are times to let the kids decide. You dont want him growing to hate the game.

[baldgriff]

to add - Life lessons learned young at least give you time to make changes - they are not bad things to have happen.

[Lurker765]

It should be up to the kid. You don't want him to get burnt out on sports so early by being frustrated. The goal with youth sports is to teach life lessons and a love of being active. You won't (probably) have a MLB player or scholarship kid so you just want them to learn what team sports has to offer and make sure they enjoy the experience so they will continue on with it throughout their lives.

Show him the options. Either he can play RF in comp and have more of the same unless he is willing to work hard at practice. Or he can join a rec league and just relax and get more playing time while still being active and play other sports.

Perhaps football is his thing more than baseball? Or maybe playing with some friends on one team is more important than whatever the other team has as perks. At age 10 he is probably old enough to make these decisions on his own if he is presented with the info needed to make a choice. Another life lesson to learn for him IMHO.

[Lucky]

JMO as a former coach of kids 9-15...10 is too early to get an accurate picture of a player's talent and potential. He may be better than anyone thinks. Or not, but I was taken by the statement that he throws strikes. If a kid has good control, the velocity often comes when his muscles start to develop.

How much will he really be bummed out by playing on the "B" team? Would dad be bummed about that? Most of the kids I coached were happiest when they were playing...they'd rather start on a bad team than sit the bench on a good team.

Ultimately, we should listen to our kids and let them play a big role in the decisions. Also, we shouldn't project our values on them.

Full disclosure...from age 6 to age 17, playing baseball was my life. I wanted to be out there on the diamond, no matter what. I was good, but mostly because I practiced from early until late. I caught, and pitched as often as the rules would allow. I hit for a high average with decent power. Starting age 12, kids quit trying to steal bases against me. So, imagine my horror when my son, who is now 15, had absolutely no interest in playing the game. He played tee ball and coach pitch, but then just didn't want to follow up. He had no real aptitude (for which I blame his mother's genes), and was much happier playing his guitar or reading a book. It took a long time to get over that. Now we enjoy watching MLB on television, but it still hurts a little. I think he could have been good if he had spent as many hours throwing a baseball against a smokehouse as I did, but there were too many other things that caught his interest. The point is, I guess, that you should be happy your kid loves the game and wants to play. Let him be happy at whatever level of competition he chooses. If he starts developing an over-powering fastball, some "A" team will come knocking.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Good luck, although I envy your choices of options.

[bryanbutler]

i like lucky's post, and my own kids reflect my own childhood and my kids current lack of interest/ability (interest with one, ability with the other) fairly closely. but the point jefe is making is that his son "wants" to compete at a level at which he simply can't. he wants to stay on his same team, but that team is above his level.

my recommendation is to put him on the "B" team.

and, to those that say "let him do what he wants" - that's a great theory but doesn't always work with kids. sometimes you have to step in and make a decision, as a parent, that isn't "what he wants." that's why we're parents, and they're kids. if you're not willing to do that, you're not a parent, your a friend.