What are the keys to human happiness?

[B-Fly]

I'm reading "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari. It's a really good read so far, starting off with the evolutionary "victory" of Homo Sapiens over other prehistoric human species, and going through the "cognitive revolution", the "agricultural revolution" and the "industrial revolution".

One of the more interesting threads through the book, however, is the question whether over the course of human history, as we've become more and more populous and dominant as a species on the Earth and more and more "advanced" and "productive", have we become happier, on average, at an individual level? And what does or doesn't make humans happier?

We're statistically, and pretty much globally, safer than we've ever been. We're at lower risk of violent death from other humans (including both wars and local crime) and animals than we've ever been. We're at lower risk of death from famine or drought or starvation than we've ever been. We're at lower risk from maternal death in childbirth, infant mortality, childhood illness than we've ever been. Modern medicine has eradicated many diseases, extended life expectancies, and expanded palliative options for physical and psychological pain.

But are we happier? To what extent is our happiness impacted by our DNA and/or "body chemistry"? To what extent is it dependent on the delta between our expectations and our reality? To what extent is it dependent on the strength, depth and number of our human connections, including love and marriage, parents and children, extended family, community? To what extent does it hinge on spiritual belief?

And what, if anything, should we be doing or not doing as societies (through governments or otherwise) in an effort to drive or facilitate human happiness?

[Judge Jude]

there pretty clearly is a collective psychosis in the U.S. - and maybe everywhere.

many of those of us age 50+ grew up playing sports with no adult supervision. we figured it out ourselves.
I don't know of any evidence that today's conditions are any more dangerous than they were in the 1970s.

yet you see stories today of governmental interference if, God forbid, a 9-year-old walks unattended to a store. it's ridiculous.

it suggests that we are 'wired,' as you say, to find danger even where none rationally exists.
we are SO safe now that parents must 'helicopter' over their children to avoid the reality that there is very little left for those children to be protected from.

I don't know what can be done to override that. I see little societal interest in pulling back and letting children enjoy their own games.

My parents were born 100 years ago. If any of us would have gone the "I'm bored" route, our parents would have been confused as to why we are telling them that. They were great parents, but our free time was ours - and as adults, it would have struck them as bizarre to be expected to intervene in a child's playtime. Growing up in The Great Depression, that would be anyone's reaction.

I certainly don't think that today's culture has produced happier people. Facebook and other social media outlets lured people into an alluring idea - wait, I can just hang out and consume information that I already agree with? What's not to like?

Well, as Dr. Phil (before he sold his soul) would say, "How's that workin' for ya?"

[DMT]

JJ, do you have children?

[Judge Jude]

I don't.

I have 10 millennial nephews and nieces, and I have seen my siblings struggle with the change in dynamics.

I realize it's impossible to ignore the peer pressure of a collective cultural paranoid parenthood, and they of course were not immune. but they balanced things as well as is realistically possible, and the kids turned out great.

[DMT]

I don't.

It's always amusing to me when non-parents criticize this generation of parents. Bill Maher is a repeat offender. Our parents (i.e. baby boomers) mostly didn't give a shit what we did and we have likely overcompensated for that, but I think we're doing a much better job. "Helicopter parenting" is mostly bs for "being engaged" although they do exist. Hopefully our children will find a better balance...they're certainly well ahead of us on other metrics like compassion and acceptance of others.

[The Feral Slasher]

JJ, do you have children?

He used to, but he let them walk home from the playground alone when they were three.

[Ken]

He used to, but he let them walk home from the playground alone when they were three.

That's really morbid... and funny.


Isn't it interesting though how easy it is to tell others how to parent when you don't have kids of your own?

All my views on parents changed the second I became one.

[Judge Jude]

"It's always amusing to me when non-parents criticize this generation of parents."

It's always amusing to me when parents go the route of professional athletes: "You can't question me, because you didn't play in the pros!"

for some reason, everyone seems to realize how dopey the latter is - but never the former.

if you had some actual data showing that child abductions are vastly higher now than 40 years ago, for example, then I would have to take a look at that and we could have a dialogue.

instead, you took a different route - which is interesting, given my response.

now cue the "but you can't compare those two things because!"

it's like talking to a brick wall.

[Sour Masher]

He used to, but he let them walk home from the playground alone when they were three.

[B-Fly]

I think to analyze this question through a comparison of generalities about one generation of Americans versus the next across one to three generations or so misses the point, at least as I intended it. Broad scale, whole of human history, were we happier as small bands of hunter-gatherers, as rural farmers in the Babylonian or Roman empires, as city dwellers during the early years of mercantile capitalism, as tech-enabled office workers commuting from the suburbs to the city? What about living within a tight-knit tribe versus an extended family group versus a nuclear family or an independent bachelor? Arranged marriages or open courting? Etc. I'd prefer we not get bogged down in debating different approaches to modern parenting (or maybe do that as a separate thread).

[The Feral Slasher]

I think to analyze this question through a comparison of generalities about one generation of Americans versus the next across one to three generations or so misses the point, at least as I intended it. Broad scale, whole of human history, were we happier as small bands of hunter-gatherers, as rural farmers in the Babylonian or Roman empires, as city dwellers during the early years of mercantile capitalism, as tech-enabled office workers commuting from the suburbs to the city? What about living within a tight-knit tribe versus an extended family group versus a nuclear family or an independent bachelor? Arranged marriages or open courting? Etc. I'd prefer we not get bogged down in debating different approaches to modern parenting (or maybe do that as a separate thread).

That's what I thought too. I think as a huge generalization it has to do with healthy relationships and sense of belonging/family. But clearly other factors/human needs play a part as well

[Sour Masher]

Does the book get into or suggest one big change recently is life expectancy? Like cancer, I wonder if increases in depression is a function of a stretched out lifespan--longer life stages all around and more time to focus on higher order things on Maslow's hierarchy, with a result of decreased happiness.

[DMT]

Happiness, like you said in the OP, is largely chemical and the difference between expectations and reality. Look at Anthony Bourdain, guy had a life that millions would trade for in a heartbeat, and he killed himself. Social bonds certainly are not a requirement, many monks lead happy fulfilling lives, mostly in solitary meditation.

[TranaGreg]

I used to think that happiness was largely genetic - that is, if one is predisposed to being unhappy they'll bitch about their roach-infested apartment about as much as they would about the dust on the grand piano that the maid missed.

I'm not sure I believe that as much anymore ... but I think there's still some truth there. I do think that there's a strong relationship tho between safety & happiness (not just security, but safe from judgement or other things that might make one feel vulnerable).

[DMT]

"It's always amusing to me when non-parents criticize this generation of parents."

It's always amusing to me when parents go the route of professional athletes: "You can't question me, because you didn't play in the pros!"

for some reason, everyone seems to realize how dopey the latter is - but never the former.

if you had some actual data showing that child abductions are vastly higher now than 40 years ago, for example, then I would have to take a look at that and we could have a dialogue.

instead, you took a different route - which is interesting, given my response.

now cue the "but you can't compare those two things because!"

it's like talking to a brick wall.

Childhood abductions are down because of much greater awareness, supervision and amber alerts. Likening parents to professional athletes is a streeeeeeeeetch. But no need to derail the thread, stay bold on your non-parent perch. Say hi to Bill.