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Would you help the guy out financially?

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  • Would you help the guy out financially?

    I have a bunch of ex coworkers who have Facebook pages. One of those folks is trying to raise money for another one of those folks, on Facebook, because he is now living out of his truck, just 2 years after getting laid off... he is about 65 years old, I would guess....

    So, as we were in a union, we all were at top scale.... close to $75K base pay a year. We had a 401K plan where we could put in up to 15% of our salary ( I did that... don't know what the guy did )... We also have a pension plan. I have no clue what his is worth, but mine would be about $60K if I took a lump sum. He worked there about 15 years more than I did, so I assume his pension would be much larger. Also, he got a $30K buyout 2 years ago. Everybody got $30K when they were bought out. I worked 19 years with him.

    He had / has a girlfriend - more platonic than sexual on the surface, but who knows - that he lives with. He doesn't drink or do drugs. He did smoke but I think he gave that up.

    So, now the guy is living in his truck with his pseudo girlfriend, and a cat..... He has not been sick..... at least as far as anybody knows..... and that is kind of the point of this thread. Nobody knows why he is living in his truck. I asked and have not been able to find out why. I asked his best friend from work why he needs the money, and she doesn't know..... and she is the one trying to get everybody to chip in. I wasn't particularly friendly with the guy, but I liked him well enough. But I'm not about to give him money without knowing how he got into this mess in just 2 years. In his last 10 years at work, he must have earned $1M before taxes as he got bonuses for certain things, and worked a lot of OT..... I just don't get it.

    Would you help the guy out financially?
    Last edited by Papa Deuce; 01-03-2015, 01:00 PM.

  • #2
    Nope.

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    • #3
      I'd want to know more before giving money away.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by virgonomic View Post
        I'd want to know more before giving money away.
        Ditto. With what you've shared so far, I wouldn't be eager to help.
        "Jesus said to them, 'Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.'"

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        • #5
          Nope, but I've become a cold bastard around giving money away to individuals, basically I don't lend anyone money, and wouldn't give any of my in laws more than $500, let alone a stranger.
          "You know what's wrong with America? If I lovingly tongue a woman's nipple in a movie, it gets an "NC-17" rating, if I chop it off with a machete, it's an "R". That's what's wrong with America, man...."--Dennis Hopper

          "One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real." -- Klaus Kinski

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          • #6
            If you give money to every financially strapped person that you worked with, went to school with, went to church with, lived in a neighborhood with, etc., then you would have to live in your vehicle. Although i would try to help family and close friends. If he doesn't drink or do drugs, i'm betting (pun intended) that this guy has a gambling problem.
            “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

            ― Albert Einstein

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            • #7
              Originally posted by madducks View Post
              If you give money to every financially strapped person that you worked with, went to school with, went to church with, lived in a neighborhood with, etc., then you would have to live in your vehicle. Although i would try to help family and close friends. If he doesn't drink or do drugs, i'm betting (pun intended) that this guy has a gambling problem.

              I can't imagine a gambling problem.... He hates sports, so no likely betting there, and I have never once heard him mention gambling in any way at all..... but that is the most plausible explanation, I guess. I absolutely know he didn't invest in stocks.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Papa Deuce View Post
                I can't imagine a gambling problem.... He hates sports, so no likely betting there, and I have never once heard him mention gambling in any way at all..... but that is the most plausible explanation, I guess. I absolutely know he didn't invest in stocks.
                It sounds like there is part of you that might want to help if it's a genuine issue out of his control or another similar problem that can be resolved and end up with him back on his feet. If that's the case, here's my suggestion. take some time and find him. Invite him to grab a bite to catch up and chat. Be honest and understanding and systematically find out what has happened, why it happened and how HE thinks it can be resolved. then offer whatever help you feel comfortable in offering and if you would rather not help, at least you have given him dinner, company and put your heart at ease. I did this with a friend who was on the street and helped him get off and into a regular life for about 8 years, unfortunately he regressed and is now back on the streets, but I know I did what I could to help and there are no more questions in my mind.

                Good luck, being a generous person at heart is tough, but is a blessed existence.

                Kudos PD.
                If I whisper my wicked marching orders into the ether with no regard to where or how they may bear fruit, I am blameless should a broken spirit carry those orders out upon the innocent, for it was not my hand that took the action merely my lips which let slip their darkest wish. ~Daniel Devereaux 2011

                Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
                Martin Luther King, Jr.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by GwynnInTheHall View Post
                  It sounds like there is part of you that might want to help if it's a genuine issue out of his control or another similar problem that can be resolved and end up with him back on his feet. If that's the case, here's my suggestion. take some time and find him. Invite him to grab a bite to catch up and chat. Be honest and understanding and systematically find out what has happened, why it happened and how HE thinks it can be resolved. then offer whatever help you feel comfortable in offering and if you would rather not help, at least you have given him dinner, company and put your heart at ease. I did this with a friend who was on the street and helped him get off and into a regular life for about 8 years, unfortunately he regressed and is now back on the streets, but I know I did what I could to help and there are no more questions in my mind.

                  Good luck, being a generous person at heart is tough, but is a blessed existence.

                  Kudos PD.
                  Kudos to you as well for some great advice.
                  If DMT didn't exist we would have to invent it. There has to be a weirdest thing. Once we have the concept weird, there has to be a weirdest thing. And DMT is simply it.
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                  Bullshit is everywhere. - George Carlin (& Jon Stewart)

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                  • #10
                    Just remember that whatever you give up, you'll likely lose altogether. I have no problem with helping others out, and have done so several times. But in every instance, the money was not repaid, and the person walked out of my life...no loss in any of the cases.
                    "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
                    - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

                    "Your shitty future continues to offend me."
                    -Warren Ellis

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Fresno Bob View Post
                      Nope, but I've become a cold bastard around giving money away to individuals, basically I don't lend anyone money, and wouldn't give any of my in laws more than $500, let alone a stranger.
                      This. Though not necessarily because I'm cold and/or heartless, but because of the problems that inevitably come from paying it back.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by johnnya24 View Post
                        This. Though not necessarily because I'm cold and/or heartless, but because of the problems that inevitably come from paying it back.
                        Never give what you can't afford to lose.........or something like that.
                        If I whisper my wicked marching orders into the ether with no regard to where or how they may bear fruit, I am blameless should a broken spirit carry those orders out upon the innocent, for it was not my hand that took the action merely my lips which let slip their darkest wish. ~Daniel Devereaux 2011

                        Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
                        Martin Luther King, Jr.

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                        • #13
                          Thanks for the thoughts all.....

                          I talked, through Facebook, to the person trying to get everybody to help the guy, and I don't think I am being told the truth.... Well, I mean, I think SOMEBODY knows why, but nobody is saying why. Until I know why, my money will stay my money.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Papa Deuce View Post
                            Thanks for the thoughts all.....

                            I talked, through Facebook, to the person trying to get everybody to help the guy, and I don't think I am being told the truth.... Well, I mean, I think SOMEBODY knows why, but nobody is saying why. Until I know why, my money will stay my money.
                            Why would somebody that is trying to raise money for a needy person not tell the truth?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Gregg View Post
                              Why would somebody that is trying to raise money for a needy person not tell the truth?
                              I have no idea, and that is why I hesitate to help.

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